I am a single parent with a 3 and ½ year old girl. I have been a lone parent to my little girl since before she was born. We have always had a very intensely close relationship with some inevitable ups and downs. But this last year I have found particular hard. I started work last June on a part time basis and really enjoyed the adult/child balance in my life, I unfortunately had to leave the job 9 months later (march this year) due to bullying in the workplace. I found the transition back to full time mothering very difficult and have felt frustrated at being a stay at home mum on a full time basis. I feel that on some level I got a bit demotivated and perhaps a little slack about things in regards to my daughter and overtime it seems we have got to a place where she has more control over me than I over her, the last few months I have entered a very loving and supportive relationship, but having felt racked with guilt about her having to share me, I have placated her even more and somehow handed over even more control to her. She has always been very headstrong and confidant and has always had very fierce tantrums which have ebbed and flowed, mostly her tantrums are outside which I find difficult to manage, there has been occasions I have lost my temper and shouted very aggressively at her and picked her very aggressively. Recently the tantrums have been increasingly regular, mostly outside, sometimes twice a day, I know the advice is to ignore but this is very difficult when she is not safe. I attended a parenting class over the summer and most of the advice has been to focus on a positive parenting, I have always given her loads of praise and affection and we have generally done activities everyday. I feel at the moment she is pushing me to my absolute limit, she smiles if I can angry, she excessively demanding of my time, to the point if feels that however much I give her it’s never enough, no matter how many gentle warnings I give whenever we leave an activity she makes a almighty scene. I feel like I don’t want to take her anywhere anymore, but would go crazy staying in with her all day. I feel like I’m having really uncomfortable thoughts and feelings towards her and am feeling frightened by those and my ability to cope. She went to her drama group today and upon picking her up, it started – the refusal to cooperative and dropping to the floor, I completely lost my temper after two near missis of ferocious tantrums already today. I picked her up and shook her and shouted in her face (she still smiled to begin with) I was so close to hitting her, and feel very ashamed she refuses to get in her booster seat, so we can’t go home, this is also a regular event. I ve gone back to the women who runs the parenting to get some coaching and im desperately trying implement her advice and be more assertive and calm and in control etc but everyday seems so fraught that I just don’t know if I can cope…any compassionate advice or words might really help???