11 month old wont sleep in cot

[howiwonder]

So, almost 11mo DS only sleeps in bed with me or in a buggy. I dont mind the buggy for naps to be honest, although sometimes I think it would be nice for him to go upstairs to bed rather than be in the kitchen in buggy as we do have to be a bit quieter, and I think a cot would be comfier for him tbh.

As for nighttime, he has a bath then I bf him to sleep and he either sleeps in my arms throughout the eve and I bring him up to bed with me when I go up. Or (and this is the silly bit) he starts the night off in the buggy snoozing in the kitchen and I bring him up when I go to bed. The motion of the buggy helps him, as we give him a few rocks as he starts to stir when we first put him in - the cot is so stationary which is the problem. It is a habit Id like to break - it seems a bit ridiculous that he asleep in the kitchen of an evening - I had friends round the other night and made DH take him upstairs and he had a right old time getting him to sleep in his arms (and then he wouldnt go in cot) as I was way too embarrassed for others to see our weird little routine!

I like co sleeping with him and wouldnt mind at all if he started the night in the cot then joined us in bed after the first wake up, but I really would like the whole buggy thing to change and just to have a bit of cot sleep to start with.

Back story - he was very seriously ill as a newborn, had massive surgery and we very nearly lost him - all is healthy and well now however. But I think this explains the chaos of our sleeptimes, basically I was terrified to put him down or let him too far out of my sight in those early days after hospital. I wouldnt consider any kind of controlled crying or CIO but am otherwise very keen to get some suggestions please!!

howiwonder, you're doing really well. at nearly losing him.

Your routine is not weird. To be honest it sounds totally sensible given the circumstances! DOn't even think about what other people think of you. You know your baby and what he needs. We had a similar situation with ds2 not sleeping (though not the tough start you had with surgery). Ds2 WOULD NOT SLEEP and did not sleep for a long time. He only slept in buggy outside (daytime naps) or in with me at night, waking every 1-2hrs for bf.

He really struggled to go down in his cot at bedtime and we'd be running up and down most of the evening. I wish i'd just been a whole lot more relaxed about it and not worried and brought him downstairs. If your baby's had a tough start it will take longer for him to settle into normalish routines and stuff.

The thing I wish i'd bought was one of those automatic rocking baby chairs, it might work for you as something that you can have upstairs, but moves so keeps him happy until you go up? It could be a step towards going down in his cot. I'm not sure if they're expensive. Maybe look on ebay for 2nd hand one if that's an issue. It sounds like the movement might be important for him.

Or you could try taking the buggy upstairs to get him used to settling upstairs and then later try starting in cot?

Thanks for the kind words orange! Yes it certainly has been a rocky road, but you would not know to look at my happy chap all that he had been through, he is a very smiley sweet boy.
I know those rocking chair things you mean and really fancied one for when he was smaller but I reckon he might be too big now at almost 1? I will check the weight limitstions and see.
I sort of want something like a rocking crib but again he just is too big, he's crawling, standing, cruising etc so a proper big cot is the safest. But if he falls asleep in my arms, the transition to a cot is a nightmare, it's so low down and he always wakes.
My current approach is at least trying to put in cot each night and if he cries I just give up and bring him back downstairs! I'm also popping him in there with toys during the day and he quite enjoys playing in it so I thought that would be a good way to make a positive association.
I suppose it will all sort itself out eventually (he won't be going to sleep for the night in his maclaren when he's 4....I hope!!) but It just can be a wee bit limiting either holding him or having him downstairs of an evening...

Ah, yes, didn't think that he might be too big! I guess he'd be too big for a baby hammock as well. My friend swore by hers.

Starting him in the cot each night sounds a good plan. And getting him used to it in the day.

tbh I think we were stricter that what you're doing and I do regret it. We were just desperate to get him settled and sleeping. We tried cc for a month or so, I really was so sleep deprived I was struggling to leave the house and it seemed the only thing anyone suggested, but it didn't work and was the worst experience ever.

How is he sleeping in the night once you go up with him?

ah well he feeds on and off a fair bit through the night but its all a bit of a blur to me, i dont really fully wake up thankfully - so i actually feel more rested than i did with ds1 who i didnt really co sleep with.

its just that first bit of the night, sometimes i love snuggling him while i watch telly but sometimes i would quite like my hands free or just to feel a bit child free (which i suppose is a good thing in that im moving on from being super anxious).