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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Hiding when pooing/ refusing to be changed

22 replies

tired999 · 03/10/2013 13:14

My DS is 27 months and has been hiding when he has a poo for about a year. He's been on Movicol for 9 months due to withholding but things haven't improved. Even though his poo looks like angel delight he still manages to withhold if we're away from home (5 days is the longest). He'll only go in the conservatory. He runs away and hides after he's done his business and kicks and screams when I change him. Everything about it is a battle and we both usually get covered! The GP and HV are no help at all and I'm at my wits end. Anyone had a similar problem and found a way to resolve it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CreatureRetorts · 03/10/2013 20:43

Bribery? Chocolate buttons? Also make no

CreatureRetorts · 03/10/2013 20:44

Also don't make a fuss when he goes. Just be matter of fact. Maybe strip in the bath and shower him down if he doesn't want to lie down?

DeathMetalMum · 03/10/2013 20:50

Does he think its a game? Dd runs away after pooing as she wants us to 'catch' her to do what we want.

Also how do you approach once he has pooed? Dd is the same age and we just ask her casually do you need a clean nappy? All matter of fact style. Dd also doesn't often poo out of the house witholding if we are away.

Original poster

tired999 · 04/10/2013 08:21

Bribery doesn't work he just asks for chocolate all the time.

I let him go have a poo as he won't go with me in the room. When he comes to me I say "Have you done a poo? Shall we put a clean nappy on." Then he runs away. He doesn't think it's a game he doesn't want to be changes at all. If I tried to bath him I'd be constantly cleaning on the days he has a poo.

Movicol means makes it a huge sticky mess that smears everywhere. If I don't change him as soon as he's been is comes out of the top of his nappy and is all over the carpets. We go to play group 3 times a week which means he goes about the 3 times on the days we don't go out.

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Original poster

tired999 · 04/10/2013 11:01

I forgot to say. He doesn't struggle when having a wet nappy changed.

OP posts:

blueberryupsidedown · 04/10/2013 11:45

a few out of the box ideas.

Take him to the pharmacy and let him choose a bum cream, whichever cream he wants, and say that it's his special cream that you can put on his bum after he's clean. you can put the cream pot in a special box that you can decorate and put his name on, so it's his own special cream.

Take him to the shop (a corner store or something) and let him choose one of those children's magazines with toys in, and he can play with the toy when you change his nappy.

Create a poo corner for him, with a few soft toys of his choice, a cushion, anything he likes and he can go there to have a poo and feel safe. I think you should really do this. If he wants to have poos in peace and in a place where he feels safe, then he might feel more secure and confident about it.

I hope it helps and that my ideas are not too crazy!

Original poster

tired999 · 04/10/2013 16:57

Thanks, no those ideas aren't crazy. I'll give the suggestions a go. He already poos in his Ikea circus tent and doesn't play in it any other time!

I am trying to involve him in changing DS2's nappy but he runs away from that too.

OP posts:

CreatureRetorts · 04/10/2013 20:51

Maybe he needs potty training? Hiding can be a sign that ready.

Original poster

tired999 · 05/10/2013 08:04

I've tried introducing a potty/seat on the toilet but he runs away from them too and goes rigid and cried if I sit him on them. He won't tell me when he needs to go to the toilet but I'm sure he knows as he hides when he has a poo and stands holding himself, when naked, when he has a wee. He'll do either on the floor even if he's right next to the potty. I am starting to think it's a control thing.

OP posts:

curlew · 05/10/2013 08:10

What happens if you stop the movicol?

CreatureRetorts · 05/10/2013 08:13

Yes it will be. You need to back off a bit. Try putting a couple of potties around (you can get cheap ones for 99p!) in the places he likes to go. Tell him enthusiastically that he can sit on the potty to poo or go on the toilet like mummy/daddy. Just have them around all the time.

But don't make a big deal - he's getting a reaction which he wants even if it's negative. It'll be because of his sibling - all normal and natural. It's worth giving him special time just you and him on his terms for short periods in the day.

BigArea · 05/10/2013 08:26

I was just going to say about putting a potty in his circus tent - worth a try

Original poster

tired999 · 05/10/2013 16:55

Thanks. All really good suggestions but I've tried a lot of them to no avail

If I stop the Movicol he withholds for over a week. I've tried the potty in the tent and he just wees/poos on the floor. He's had a potty in his room, living room, toilet, conservatory for 6 months and has only sat on it a handful of times and doesn't play with them. I've tried playing songs about going to the toilet, books etc. I haven't pressured him at all and on the advice of the GP/HV have only talked about it occasionally, but the potties are still there. He goes with us to the toilet too.

The problem started before his brother was born and he gets special time with me when his brother naps.

I think he just wants to pretend that the poo isn't there.

OP posts:

curlew · 05/10/2013 16:59

Could I suggest trying stopping the movicol again now he's getting older? It does sound as if his poos are a bit traumatic and out of his control- maybe he feels he can get control again by refusing to be changed? (Removes unqualified psychiatrist hat)

What sort of poos does he do if he withholds- are they really painful?

Original poster

tired999 · 05/10/2013 17:45

We cut down on the Movicol from to half a sachet every other day in August but he withheld for over a week. He was on a half up to then but now he's on a full sachet every 3rd day with a half a day in between, since switching to soya milk (on the advice of an allergy consultant as he's seems to have a mild dairy allergy as well as peanuts and fish.) His poo is like angel delight even when he holds. I don't know how he does it. I don't think he's had a solid poo for 4-5 months, when we tried weaning him off Movicol once before.

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Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 05/10/2013 17:49

Can you try a different milk? If he's allergic to the proteins in milk he may also be the same with soya as they are similar. I'd try KOko milk instead. Sounds like it's just because it's so traumatic for him bless and with all the medication it's just such a big deal which he can't cope with.

curlew · 05/10/2013 17:55

Is he under a paediatrician? I would be really worried about him being on movicol for so long.

CreatureRetorts · 05/10/2013 18:16

Soya can result in a similar reaction to dairy (my two have this problem) so I use calcium enriched oat milk instead. I don't think soya is good for kids anyway?

Original poster

tired999 · 06/10/2013 10:59

Thanks everyone. I'll try non soya. I've tried rice milk and he refused that so hopefully he'll drink oat or coconut. I have an appointment with the GP again this week and am going to ask for a referral.

OP posts:

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 06/10/2013 11:05

Rice milk is not suitable under four anyway. The Koko comes in chocolate too :)

curlew · 06/10/2013 11:34

Who diagnosed the allergies?

Original poster

tired999 · 06/10/2013 15:19

Curlew - A pediatric allergy consultant.

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