What do I have to do to get my kids to LISTEN?

[drzeus]

I feel like I'm going crazy as neither of my children listen to anything I say. I give them information: they say I haven't told them. I ask them to do something: they say I haven't asked. Usually ends up with them stomping off and me getting the blame. I am so, so fed up with this.
Just had DS2 INSISTING I hadn't told him something when I know I have.

Any tips, Mumsnetters?

get a RC microphone & strap speakers to their heads.
Sadly won't work either, but nice fantasy...

I don't know, but if you find out, let me know if it also works on DHs.

Erm... As a mother who seems to have spent every morning for the last four years saying 'go and out your shoes on' over and over and over and over......I can sympathise.....

I have found challenging them to do it fastest works, but then they argue over who came first....

Seriously: when you tell them something make eye contact, and insist that they repeat it back to you. This helps a bit.

ps: I have been known to write something down & get them to sign to say they've read it.

I still get arguments!!

You might find this helpful - it was about the only post -babyhood parenting book I actually found useful.

Kneel down and look them in the eye. If they get distracted immediately repeat. Be firm but avoid shouting otherwise they may start only listening when you shout. Try counting to 3 technique. Immediate time out or consequence of some kind for not listening. And follow through consistently!

Oh and lots of praise when they do listen!!

Eye contact, get down to their level.

Read how to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk.

Its the link Errol has posted :)

Turning the tv off helps around here!

And the book HTTSKWLALSKWT recommended above is great.

I second 'How to Talk' and 'repeating back to me'.
Also whispering 'who wants some chocolate' then saying in a brisk normal voice 'Good, now I know you can hear me, please hang up your coat'

You do have to make sure you have their attention when you speak to them as if they are concentrating on anything else they will not take in what you say.
I also agree with getting them to repeat back what you have asked them to do.
I do know children will 'switch off' - especially if you are rabbiting at them a lot. Mine used to ignore me as if they had not heard and yet when my partner asked or told them to do anything they responded immediately.
he reckoned it was because he spoke as if he meant what he was saying and they knew he would follow up if they ignored him.
Apparently - I rabbited and moaned!