I'm at a loss here. Our just-turned-3 YO is speech delayed and is aware of this, acutely. She has started to not play with other kids unless they are older or kids she knows well already. She wants one to one with CM all the time and tried to physically drag CM away from other kids (holds her hand and pulls), or makes sure she gets more attention by being naughty - which isn’t possible as there are other LOs there, two are much younger than DD so they need more attention.
Our LO stops the others from going to playgroup. We know how annoying this is for other parents as our DD was prevented from going out by the behaviour of other older kids in the past. Those kids did not stay long at the CMs. Our DD doesn’t enjoy big groups (has tantrum, wont get ready then takes shoes/clothes off in street etc to stop them going or to make them all late, then won’t join in when she gets there unless it is crafts or physical play where she is not expected to talk/sing words - unless it is a song she can sing all the words to she won’t do it). She is lovely at home, very intelligent, already reading aloud letters and counting, knows how many there are up to about 6 or 7 without even counting them, can do basic addition, knows 2 and 2 is 4 , 1 and 1 is 2 etc, does great complex role plays about pirates and kings crowns, dragons and knights (foam sword used well here!), likes being a “vet” and bandaging her soft toy hourses hooves, uses dolls house very sweetly, cooks pretend meals for us and sets out “picnics” for her soft toys etc. She has tantrums of course, but nothing like the ones she has at CMs and they don’t affect others in the same way so less of an issue at home.
We understand her speech very well though. I wonder how much is related to speech delay and how much is just her wanting her own way. Worried well lose place at CMs if family reports of bad behaviour don’t get better. Have said this to DD and she agreed that she needs to be kind to CM and other kids, needs to do what CM tells her to do, needs to get ready when told to, not thrown things or shout when cross but to use her words to tell CM.. I also tell her that sometimes she has to do things she doesn’t want to and so does Mummy! She is bright enough to understand and actually agrees that this is what she needs to do, but at 3 seems rather unlikely to put any of this into action at critical moments. I’m stressed at work and so busy there and at home that there is no time to even sit and talk about anything with OH or CM. CM and I write in a book that goes between our houses each day and I cant even write in it every day. In the evenings we struggle to get her to bed at her old bedtime. Sine toilet training a month before she was 3 (about 2 months ago now) she wants to use toilet constantly, and will sit in the dark (we switch light off and pretend to go to bed) so even that is not working that well. I go to bed as soon as she does- i.e. 8:30-9pm as I wake up 3-5 time a night anyway (partner has trapped nerve that keeps us both awake, plus stress and hormones usually conspire to wake me up sweating anyway) so I’m too shattered to get up at 6 if I don’t go to bed as soon as I can at night. I don’t watch ANY TV!! Both I and OH are exhausted and upset/stressed about her behaviour at CMs and the perilous place she now has at CMs. DD can be extremely tearful in the morning, seems sad and genuinely upset, weeps at minor things, wants some kid of reassurance of us meeting her endless demands on doorstep of CMs taking her shoes off (when she does this herself usually), kissing teddy etc). I don’t do this and I feel that hug, kiss and Bye, see you later have a nice day” HAS to be enough reassurance – otherwise it escalates into a screaming/crying tantrum if you meet her huge list of demands on the doorstep and makes us late for work an therefore for collecting her later as we have to make up the time. She only started doing this literally after toilet training. Is she just tired due to not going to bed for an extra 30-40 minutes since then? Or is ot a return to baby-stage cos she is genuinely needing reassurance? She naps 2-4 hours Fri-Sun so possibly she is knackered. She’s always done this though. We are all exhausted every weekend so that’s normal and won’t change due to working hours/commute etc in the week. Is the extra half hour/forty minutes she now takes each night to get to bed the sole cause of all this? We can’t start the bedtime routine any earlier in the week (only at weekends when we all go to bed earlier and get up later so get a lot more sleep). In the week we literally get up from eating tea and start on DDs shower etc (not time for anything else) so we can’t get her to bed any earlier if she keeps on with this going to toilet several times 30-40 minutes after the original bedtime. How can we crack this one? We have started physically putting her in her room after 2-3 mins of sitting on toilet, but she comes out again and sits on it again over and over, until we both go in our bedroom in the dark, all light in house out, then she goes to bed (we live in a bungalow so no stairs). We’ve started doing this quickly after one or two toilet visits, but it still takes ages for her to get the message and gets in the way of my genuinely getting ready for bed, showering, using toilet myself etc.