Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

How do I stop 17mth old from biting?

14 replies

theinvisiblegirl · 27/06/2006 13:52

DS2 won't stop biting. I know why he does it...it's frustration when someone gets in his way/tries to take a toy off him etc. He's trying to tell them to get lost. But he is a big boy, size of a 2yr old with lots of teeth and very strong.

Had a bad morning at mother and babies ending with an argument with another mother telling me I needed to sort him out and bite him back.

I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to catch him before biting and removing him, or if he did bite, ignoring him and making a fuss of the other child. I even put him on a chair and ignore him if he continues (sort of naughty chair I suppose). But he is still a baby. I don't know what I can do to get him to understand. I never had this problem with any of the others and it quite upset me to have someone telling me that I should be biting my baby!

Anyone else had this? Any suggestions on what I can try?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MrsBigD · 27/06/2006 14:14

theinvisiblegirl, dd and ds both are/were biters but 'fortunately' not to the same extend as your ds2 seems to be. ds, 2 in September, has now a phase where he flungs himself against me trying to bite me and thinking it's a hilarious game...

I did what you do atm... remove from situation, withdraw attention etc. As for the biting back bit... it's a bit draconian but can actually work. Obviously not biting too hard, but showing the 'offender' that it actually hurts. Saying that my ds actually likes it! He's weird I admit it . Your ds2 might not have put 2 & 2 together iykwim. But don't get me wrong, I don't advocate biting your own child

I'd just persist with 'if you bite sombody at playgroup etc. then we have to go IMMEDIATELY', if he likes going then he might get the message.

My mum once suggested to give him a slap on the mouth but that I find even worse than 'biting' back!

Have no other suggestions really, it's terribly frustrating isn't it. Hope it's only a short phase your ds2 is going through.

Original poster

theinvisiblegirl · 27/06/2006 14:21

Thanks MrsBigD, I have thought of withdrawing from the group completely but I don't think in the long run it would help. I need him to learn how to socialise, not keep him away from situations where he might get challenged. The bit I find difficult is that he is only 17mths...will me constantly removing him connect with him biting? I don't know.

OP posts:

Jazzi · 27/06/2006 14:23

Try not to react - ignore it, and remember it is a phase!!!

MrsBigD · 27/06/2006 14:26

tig, if you keep telling him 'we're leaving because you've been biting' he will make the connection. He might be only young but don't be fooled... they are very clever and actually understand more than you think they do . Also I found with my 2 at that age, if they know something would wind me up they were more likely to do it! crafty little sods ... so Jazzi's advise is very good... try not to react/rise to the occasion and remain 'matter of fact', very hard at times... and don't I know it... dd is 4.5 going on 14 and ds just started terrible two's with a vengance and the amount of times I grin and bear are getting more frequent.... not that I want to scare you of things to come LOL but

It's only a phase, it's only a phase, it's only aphase

Original poster

theinvisiblegirl · 27/06/2006 14:32

it's only a phase, it's only a phase.....my new mantra

(although could someone please tell this to the woman and mother and babies!!)

OP posts:

magnolia1 · 27/06/2006 14:39

I really do feel for you, I have a friend with a 2 year old boy and he is a terrible biter She is in exactly the same position and is waiting for it to majically pass!! I hope it doesn't last too long and apart from what you are already are doing I can only suggest sticking to him like glue for a while to get to him before he gets the cxhance to bite. I am sure you are doing this already anyway

Jazzi: It is easy to say ignore it but I really feel to ignore a serious bite is not such a good idea and the mum of the bitten child is going to find that a bit passive maybe?

magnolia1 · 27/06/2006 14:40

Good God! I can't spell today Meant to say magically!

dublindee · 27/06/2006 15:14

I had a thread about this last week - my DS is 16mo and biting - and since then I have discovered he's getting more teeth. I think this could have something to do with "the bite" at creche and am hoping it won't be repeated.

someone would advise you to bite your own son!

chubbleigh · 27/06/2006 15:47

Hey Dublindee, after giving you advice the other day to 'have a good look in his mouth' have had to take it myself. Ds has bitten me 3 times today at least and on inspection has bottom molar giving him gip. He was v. naughty at playgroup today, he didn't bite but was not nice to other kids I think due to being grumpy because to pain in mouth. Took him out, before the end.

Invisible, don't get upset about other mums. I get annoyed when mums get on their high horse when someone elses kid misbehaves, like theirs never ever has, if they can see you are struggling to cope with this sort of problem they would be much better off being supportive. If you did nothing, then they could be annoyed. I am not bothered if my ds gets the occaisional crack because I don't think it does him any harm to find out what it's like when someone is not nice to you. All kids are different and it is just plain daft to expect 1 & 2 year olds to be perfect. Like everyone else has said, it is a phase, it will pass.

dublindee · 27/06/2006 22:33

Oh no i jinxed you chubb! sorry

apronstrings · 27/06/2006 22:37

I'm sure its wrong - and like the smacking arguament - it seems ridiculous to tell them not to do something when you do, but... ds2 bit ds1 a fair few times - noone else just his brother - in the end I bit him - he never did it again. anecdotal and maybe not the norm but it did work for us

apronstrings · 27/06/2006 22:38

Remember - you don't have to bite him very hard , or in anger you do have control over that - it does seem brutal but i felt really sorry for ds1 getting bitten and being expected to suck it up and not retaliate

Original poster

theinvisiblegirl · 28/06/2006 10:00

I hear what you are saying that making him realise what he is doing hurts and I know that it works. He used to bite DS1 and DD, but they retaliated and now he's stopped doing it - but I just cannot bite him back. It just feels so wrong. I'm all for the kids at toddlers to have a go back at him.I wish one would, but I can't go around telling other kids to bite him back!

I'm hoping that once he can find another way of telling people to leave him alone that it will stop.

OP posts:

Kelly1978 · 28/06/2006 10:07

I bit dd and ds1 back, and it worked great. ds3 is now going through a biting stage and nothing works! I've given up and i'm ignoring it and waiting for him to grow out of it. He mostly bites his twin who is far sweeter natured and won't bite back.
Maybe you should jsut tell the other mums you've tried it and it doesn;t work - to shut them up!

Flip