I am very concerned about my DD1 (very nearly 6). She's a lovely, caring, intelligent little girl (not just my opinion; her teacher last year described her as higher ability).
However, she has some issues which are beginning to make family life a little difficult. First of all, she has massive problems with clothes and cannot dress appropriately for the weather. For example, she will insist on wearing shorts on a bright but cold winter day. I've tried the leave her to it approach, but all that happens is that she's then freezing and the subsequent moaning has ruined many a day out. She pretty much hates all coats and I have spent a fortune over the years on coats - nothing will do her. I am worried that there will come a point soon where other children will make fun of her; the judging from other parents has been happening for a long time. I know I should celebrate her uniqueness, but when you're at the park in the middle of winter and all the other kids are dressed warmly and having fun, when you're with a frozen child in school PE kit (it's pretty much all she wears; I even hide it and she still finds it) it's not that great.
She has virtually confidence, and is she perceives something as difficult, she will not even try. The exception to this is swimming, where she works very hard even when it's difficult. That said, she thinks she's rubbish. She has tried both ballet and gymnastics in the past but they were 'hard' so she refused to go. She's musical, and I've asked her if she's like some piano lessons. She's mature for her age and I think she'd do well. She's refusing on the grounds that she will find it too hard and doesn't know how to play so won't learn. For most of reception she even refused to make any sort of effort with reading because it was too difficult and she couldn't do it (that's been sorted out now at least!). In case she doesn't win at party games, she refuses to join in: she really, really cannot see that if she doesn't try, then she definitely will not get anywhere!
I'm finding this almost defeatist attitude very frustrating. I praise effort as well as results. I've tried various acitivities to boost her confidence. She's expressed an interest in a local drama group, but I'm loathe to sign her up for it as what has happened time after time is she'll do something a few times, love it, and then if something happens that she doesn't like, refuse to go again. It's expensive and I just cannot afford to pay for her to refuse to go. I know that sounds awful but I've lost count of the number of times I've been in that position.
I know I am sounding very negative, but I want to help my little girl, and I just am now sure how to.