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DS aged 6.9 years temper tantrums, crying and trying to hurt himself

4 replies

HomeintheSun · 28/09/2013 00:57

My DS is a lovely smart and funny little boy who is well liked and can make friends easily, he's confident and has no problem making himself heard. But he's always been quick to cry if he feels that A) he's losing at a game/sports, B) things are not going his way, C) if he feels he can't do something (spellings/reading) He used to go to an after school sports club until he didn't get given the golden boot trophy then he cried and shouted that it wasn't fair, then told me that he didn't ever want to go back again.

My DC (I have a DD who is nearly 4) are forces children and we have had the usual moves and Daddy being away, DS's tantrums started when my DH went away for 6 weeks on a course (work) but it's been 2 years since he went away last, (is due to go away again next year for 4 months).

Today his head teacher told to me that the tantrums are getting more frequent at school, we have never been pushy parents and only want him to do his best and be happy with the work he's done or the effort he's put in (sports) we are very worried that the other kids will start to tease him if this goes on for much longer.

He is very dramatic and when he tantrums it starts very quickly, gets very loud and there are tears, he shouts about how things are not fair, recently he has started hitting himself around the head and on Tuesday he scratched all the way down his both sides of his own face leaving red marks that were still there nearly an hour later, because he couldn't spell the list of words for this week.

When he tantrums I try and talk to him and calm him down, my husband has less patients to deal with it and does tend to shout at him.

My DH and I hoped that he would grow out of them but now I don't think that he will any time soon.

Any help suggestions would be great, tia

OP posts:
3xM · 28/09/2013 01:17

Sounds to me like it would be worth speaking to his teachers about a way forward. Has something happened recently to escalate the tantrums?

HomeintheSun · 28/09/2013 09:58

These has been nothing I can think that would have cause the escalation, he has a new teaches that he doesn't like as much as the one from last year. The head teacher was saying yesterday that he would get the teaching assistant to do some work with him and he does really klid her, on Tuesday the head is teaching my son's class all day so I plan to speak to him after and see how thing went.

Do you think it's worth speaking to the health visitor or not?
I'm worried, I don't know what the cause or trigger is I don't know how best to help my DS.

I spoke to him yesterday and he said he didn't know why he does it. We are trying the penny method, he will get a penny in the pot if he doesn't tantrum and then after 7 days he will get a treat.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 28/09/2013 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HomeintheSun · 28/09/2013 22:25

Thanks PolterGoose I have had a look and the PDF and the books you have recommended, I have ordered what to do when your temper flares. DS has gone the day with no tantrums and given that we went shopping and he didn't want to go, he's done really well. I'm going to make and appt with the health visitor and see how things go with the teaching assistant this week. Also we are going to start his spelling and writing a lot earlier so there is not the pressure on DS this week to get it all finished in time.

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