Is this cruel?

[Locketjuice]

Dd 6 weeks cries 4-9 I'm laid next to her in bed as walking talking swaying etc doesn't change the angry red faced little madams ways

Is it mean to lay her cuddle her but let her cry it out? I know either way she will be screaming but I can't shift this guilty feeling

Are you breastfeeding???

she sounds colicky and that can be brutal

i had a DD who cluster fed between 5 & 9 every night and it wears you down

some babies cluster feed if bottle fed as well - have you tried offering a feed?

have you tried a sling

do you have a partner who can share the load??

Hmm I wouldn't say 'cruel' exactly since you are there comforting her still. If nothing works, it could be colic. Have you tried the colic remedies such as dentinox drops and colief etc. Maybe you would feel like you were doing more if you held her in your arms and sat with her rather than just laid next to her. Have you tried white noise?

What happens if you feed her?

Tried feeding dummy cuddles etc my arm is underneath her, facing each other with my hand on her back patting her, tried colief infacol dentinox and she's on gaviscon

She's ff but because of the gaviscon being a thickener she can't use comfort milk like I did before

I try feed her but she squirms and goes really red faced

I know how hard it is - three of mine were really hard to soothe at that time of day. I was bfing so they'd feed on and off all evening, looking as though they'd never settle.

However, I'd guard against seeing your tiny baby as an "angry red faced little madam". She's very new, she's probably in discomfort, and the only way she can show this is to cry. Can someone else hold her for a while? Have you tried holding her while you sit in a rocking chair? I found that soothed me, if not the baby.

This stage will pass and she won't always need you to hold her, but for now she probably just wants to be as close to you as possible. Being held upright, against your body, is possibly the most comfortable position for her while she's uncomfortable.

Definitely sounds like reflux. Is she better on her tummy? You could start her off like this & turn over if you're worried about cot death. Or try her on your chest lying down/upright. DS used to like being walked up and down the stairs when he had colic. sorry if you've done all these.

Is it worth trying the comfort milk but giving gaviscon separately? Or try comfort without gaviscon and compare.

Is it just at night or is she fussy in the day too? Any eczema?

Any chance it is wind or constipation? Both can be really painful. I know it's exhausting, but if there is an underlying physiological cause then neither cio or cc will fix it.

Ds (now 13 months) screamed until he was hoarse every night for hours from the day he was born for about 6months. He continued to wake screaming 6+ times a night until two weeks ago when we had his undiagnosed tongue/lip tie done. Turns out that it was causing really painful wind due to a bad latch even bf was otherwise going well. It can also happen with ff.

I agree with trying not to see her as you described. It's hard not to get frustrated and feel they are demanding, but I don't think they can express anger at that age. She's tiny and is expressing her discomfort and desperation the only way she knows

Does she nap well? Or is she a very alert baby? I sometimes think that colicky babies are the ones that are alert and active all day and then so wired at the end that they just can't switch off, and scream as an outlet.....if you can't sleep because you are so wired..it is almost painful.

As soon as I could feasably manage it with my two, of an evening, I would sit and cluster feed in a dark room (with TV on quietly in the room so I wasn't bored sensless) but just quiet and soothing for little one...

Oh it comes across bad calling her that I know, but I really am not frustrated/angry more like calling my 21MO cheeky kind of way, I do realise it sounds bad and I know she can't express any way other than crying

She used to be happier on her tummy but not anymore how ever we hold her,burp her cuddle her she screams

During the day she sleeps a lot still but has little bursts of being wide awake/active kicking away and smiling

BUT BUT BUT... It worked she cried for 5 minutes whilst I kept cuddling patting and shhh shhh shhing her in bed with all the lights off curtains closed and toddler entertained elsewhere with his dad.. It's the first night since she's been born that by 8 everyone, dp included, are in bed and I'm sat watching the soaps and MNing! Ahhhhhhh please don't have jinxed it!

So leading on from my very happy ramble could it be she just struggles to sleep with ANY noise/light so is therefore getting frustrated and over tired?

From their early days, I tried to have low lights and little noise around my babies in the evening, so it may help (and anything's worth trying, eh?).

I know people say that babies sleep through anything, but mine didn't, and certainly by 6 weeks they wouldn't have settled when there were too many distractions. Quiet singing, patting, shushing and calm are the way to go, I think.

Good luck!

Yes my babies need dark and white noise plus me rocking to get to sleep. They both had silent reflux.

DD was the same and I did put her down intermittently as I started getting soooo stressed from her screaming in my ear. In the end the tiger in the tree hold (I think it's called?) saves us! Basically you have your baby's head on one forearm, up close to your elbow. That way your hand us on their tummy. Then clasp your hands together so baby's legs drop either side of your other arm. Didn't stop her crying but reduced the duration, volume and ferocity!