I feel depressed. I haven't been on here for 5 years - have been busy with DS2 and work. I need some help and advice. My son is almost 8. He loves all types of screen time - ipad, ipod, laptop, TV. It's a constant source of conflict between us and him and between his dad and me. We limit it although during school holidays or at grandmas it creeps up to a level we are not happy with...e.g. 1 hour everyday instead of 30 mins 3 x a week. If we leave a device (like an smartphone on the kitchen worksurface, he will take it when our backs are turned (say if I am cooking the evening meal or dealing with his little brother) and he will run upstairs to play it. Under his bed. I have to watch out all the time, see what he is doing and keep a check on all the devices in our household. I want to throw them out of the window and live somewhere without wifi. What really upsets me is that he seems addicted and ashamed. I just don't know what to do. I know he feels shame because he'd like to do what we ask (i.e. stick to the limits) but he is so utterly tempted. He whiles away his time until he can get on. Everything else is just passing time, even if he only gets 30 mins on a Saturday after 5, he'll ask us the time and check the clock all day until it's time for computer time. He doesn't play by the rules. He gets up early, sneaks onto the laptop at 6 am..5am to play minecraft or watch you tube minecraft. I don't think he should watch you tube at all, so I blocked it. I explained he can only watch it if he asks me first and if I am in the same room as him as I have no idea of the content and there is some stuff on there that might not be suitable for his age e.g. swearing for instance. He is grumpy and rude towards me when I have a conversation with him about my concerns. He sees computer time as his 'right' in life. He cries and tells me he hates himself. He hides under his duvet (like tonight at bedtime). I changed my passwords, he tries to break them, blocking me from using my phone for 24 hours once. I began hiding my laptop before bed. He began searching for it creeping around the house looking for it at 5 am while I slept (under the bed, in my drawers). One of us now gets up when he gets up. He gets so angry if he can't find the devices while we sleep. He wakes us all up with his stomping around and loud complaints. The whole family gets up at 5/6 am all because books and lego are regarded as inferior. Sometimes I feel i should lighten up/relax about screen time after all it's in our world, and it's something he enjoys and is good at. His dad thinks we should have fixed time slots, but I feel he wishes his life away, and I want him to feel empowered, in charge of his life, within the clear boundaries (you can't play for more than 45 mins, when we say it's time to come off it's time to come off, be pleasant and less angry about not playing. He gets grumpy and irritable about the other things we have planned (e.g. fun things with friends, homework, football or guitar. I feel I do my best for him and he says I am ruining his life. He's seven years old. It makes me worry for the teenage years. We only watch TV as a treat during term time - on a Friday, occasionally on a Saturday or Sunday we'll watch a movie. One of anything is never enough. It always ends badly when it's time to switch it off. His dad and I keep arguing about what to do about it. He would like to give clear limits 30 mins x 3 times per week. My son's interest in computer time is so vast it's hard to keep track of what we are actually offering and to judge what is reasonable. 30 minutes on mine craft 3 x week plus TV time on top? how much TV time. He would like to watch 2 hours of it on Sat and Sun am (again waking up at 5/6 am specifically to get more 'time to himself' i.e. more TV time. This is very long. And a rant so excuse repetition and typos...
If anyone has any direct experience of this in their own family, and suggestions for a more balanced life, and happy child and happy parent-child relationship. please let me know.