A three year old saying alot throughtout the day 'I'm sad Mummy'.

[TimeAgainForWellies]

Is this normal? he will just come out with it and say 'I'm sad'. I will ask him 'why sad?' and give him a cuddle, but he never says why. He seems a bit down too.

Depression runs in our family, and I suffer from it myself. Am I being paranoid, or is this just a bit normal? I can bring him out of it, by tickling, or reading a story, but am wondering if it is usual?

excuse typos in title.

We go through phases of this with DS, also aged just 3. I am unsure whether he is just developing an awareness of names for emotions which would be fine or whether it is something else, as relatives do suffer with depression.

It is concerning me sometimes though so I know what you are saying.

No, that is helpful, thanks. Maybe yes an awareness of emotions and names... DS is speech delayed- quite a lot. He has only once said 'I'm happy' and that was when watching 'Swashbuckle'.

It breaks my heart though, although I try and say cheerily 'why sad, darling?' and give him a cuddle.

Maybe it's just a good way to ask for a cuddle? Not saying you don't cuddle him the rest of the time, just that they're strange little people sometimes.

My own DS, also 3, tells me several times a day that his tummy hurts. I'm trying very hard not to worry about this, because a) he can be quite cheerful when he tells me this and certainly doesn't seem to be in any pain and b) it has yet to stand in the way of him stuffing his face full of anything and everything. Instead, his tummy ache seems to mean any of the following: I am full and I want to leave the table/ I really really need a wee/ I am a little bit sad and don't want you to leave me at pre-school this morning/ I want to watch TV/ carry me NOW!

I sympathise, though. I know what it's like, there's depression in our family history too. But I think sometimes 3-year-olds just get into the habit of saying things, because they quite like the effect it has.

I agree it sounds concerning but is probably just trying out names for feelings. My DS1, only a bit younger, dis the sad but for ages, but has a bee in his bonnet now about asking if people are happy. Also after reading I love you little monster he keeps asking if we are proud of him and what are we proud of. Lovely way for us to boost his self esteem! And as DH has had a bad cough/cold DS now keeps saying 'I feel poorly/have sort throat/am not well' although is perfectly fine.

Maybe try to encourage expression of more positive feelings yourself and and your son may well do the same.

My 2.5 year old loves emotion words atm - he's sad or cross or upset a lot, apparently. Ask him why and he'll say "u-cos I wish I was a dog" or he wishes he was bigger, or grown up, or a baby, or could fly... or he wants to play football with his brother who us at Kindergarten or asleep... Later he'll announce "I feel better! I'm happy!" For some equally adult-irrational reason.

Generally toddlers are very odd :) also just trying out words to see if they fit and what response they trigger.

Oops soory meant to ask - if your son's speech is delayed, can he answer "why?" meaningfully? My son has only been able to quite recently, so perhaps he doesn't quite know how to deal with the question "why?" yet.

My DD went through a phase of doing this not long after she turned 3, only lasted a few months so perhaps not worth worrying about now. Made me feel quite paranoid at the time, too...

DS said this to me yesterday. When i asked him why he couldn't explain either (sometimes he does, i guess it depends on whether he knows the right words to explain). He's almost 3 and also says 'I'm poorly' a fair bit and 'are you happy?' to DH and myself. It's coincided with him trying to cheer others up, playing nicely with other children his age (and cuddling them through excitement when he first sees them) and refusing to eat the heads of Pombears (he left a line of Pombear heads on a bench when my parents looked after him and also refused to eat a piece of toast which looked like a duck). I think it's a growing awareness of emotions, feelings and empathy, which means he's developing just fine. At least that's what i tell myself!

Does he go to nursery/childcare at all? We trialled a place where behaviour can't be labelled as naughty so staff say you've made a sad decision or your behaviour makes me sad. DS 2.9 picked up on that so everything I did "made him sad". It got a bit wearing after a month or so of being told "you make me sad mummy", if nurseries are going to do that sort of thing they need to push the you make me happy for good behaviour too, which they didn't in our case.

The 'why' question is hard. You could try asking, 'what will make it better?' Can switch them to thinking about solving a problem, if there is one. Or asking 'what happened?' Might get a more concrete response.

My DS2, who's just 4, has been doing this for a while. If you ask him how he is, sometimes he'll say "I'm a bit sad", and if asked why, it's often something that happened at preschool / school several hours before that he hasn't mentioned. He usually seems fine before he says it, but sometimes after he says it he will start to look a bit sad and need a cuddle.

There isn't any depression in our family and DS1 has never done it. But DS2 is much more emotionally aware than his brother. Sometimes we get "I'm a bit too happy and a bit too sad", which I don't understand at all! As others have said, I put it down to developing emotions and empathy.

You've answered most of the question yourself. You say depression runs in the family, does that mean he sees anyone depressed and sad around the house? Kids learn from what they see around them, especially their parents with whom they spend most of their time at that age. He's simply imitating. For his sake you will need to get out of your depression, find the reasons and tackle them. Try to have a cheerful atmosphere. He'll be fine. God bless.