I have twin daughters who are 3 and a half. One of them is having terrible tantrums and I am at a loss how to deal with them anymore. The throws a tantrum at the drop of a hat and isn't bothered where she is. They can happen many times a day despite us having a good bahaviour chart and dealing with them the way all the books suggest (calmly, giving her time to calm down, etc). Tantrums can be about the smallest thing - not having the same piece of paper for drawing as her sister, not being able to walk the way she wants to walk in the park, etc, and they can last for 10 - 15 mins easily. Today she threw a tantrum at preschool because she didn't like the drum stick she had been given - apparently she screamed, kicked one of the preschool workers, knocked over chairs and spat on the floor (I was mortified when I collected her and was told what had happened).
I am concerned this is more than just preschool aged tantrums - her behaviour seems quite obsessive - but equally so I don't want to turn them into a big deal if they are not. I would be very grateful if anyone can give me a bit of advice.