3.5 year old saying 'I don't like you'... does he mean it?

[alice298]

My son has always been a pretty sociable and chilled out boy. As he gets older he is obviously learning to say when he doesn't want to do something, when something bothers him, or he gets tired and mental - like any other toddler. But he has started telling our au pair 'I don't like you'. She has been with us for 7 months and they have always got on well (although it did take a while for a real bond to grow).
She gets very upset by this, and while I tell her that he is 3 and testing her, I am worried that he really feels this. Do your children ever tell you or another caregiver 'I don't like you' and they don't mean it??

Yes, my youngest has done a couple of times (just turned 5, it was probably within the last year or so). It is usually following my telling him off/him being cross with me, rather than just unsolicited.

Yes:
"I hate you"
"You're the worse mummy/daddy/whatever in the universe."

It translates as "you won't let me have my own way"

My DS today "Mummy, I don't like you"

Me "Why?"

DS "Because you won't let me eat my sweets now"

He's 3.7 yo. He doesn't not like me, he loves me. To bits. It's just a child's reaction to not being able to get their own way.

Ah well, you still have the joy of 'I hate you!' to come. I get that now, from 9.5yo DD. She doesn't hate me, she hates the way I am behaving, just as we don't dislike our children, just their behaviour. But small children (and even bigger ones) don't have the emotional capacity to make that distinction.

Mind you, even if DD does hate my behaviour, I'm still right

I get this all the time from dd 3.2. I tell her that it's ok because I'm still her mummy. She then looks flummoxed! She has also tuned into the fact that my mum looks really hurt when she says it to her so does so with a glint in her eye!

Tis the teenage version of door slamming and "It's not faaaaiiiiirrrrr"

Just a phase

Yes ds 3.4 I agree it's just cos they don't get what they want!

They are testing out on you because they know your love is unconditional.

Our 3.4 year old son often tells us he doesn't like us. I know it's a phase but its very convincing! It's so hard being three apparently.