Bedtime Blues

[Mum2Fergus]

DS who has recently turned 4 has become a handful at bedtimes...he just refuses to stay in bed! I have a stair gate at his door but have been leaving it open as a) he's progressed to no bedtime nappies and b) he just climbes over it anyway!

Would it be unreasonable of me to take off gate and start closing door on him until he falls asleep? I'd open it when I go to bed do he can get to toilet ok...

Have you asked him why he does it? Is he scared of the dark?

He has a nightlight/torch beside him, and I've a nightlight on the landing too. He's visibly tired but just won't stay in bed...I've stopped all stimulation (TV/games/etc) for 30 mins or so before I try to settle him, will read him a story and tuck him in...we've never had any sleep issues with him before.

What happens if you stay with him? And ask him why he won't go to bed.

Tried staying with him last 2 nights, was in with him 70 then 55 minutes respectively. Put him back 2 bed 9 times this evening...he doesn't say anything when I ask...says he'll stay in bed and have a big sleep, all the while he's slipping out the bed ...

I would get him into bed, settle him down with his night light. Then make sure you're relaxed as is he. Then tell him you're going to go to the toilet and will be back in one minute. Then go back in exactly one minute then sit with him until he sleeps. Then the next night do the same. Then next night leave for 5 minutes and come back and sit with him. Then extend the time - reassuring and reminding him that you will be back. Eventually he'll get used to you leaving and he'll settle down again.

I found ds was obsessed with wanting to know where we were going once he was asleep - I explained we were having dinner then going to bed and he was fine with it!