Toddler 'obsessions'. How do you deal with them?

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

14 month old DS is in the middle of the biggest tantrum I've ever seen from him. He won't let me hold him, so I've taken a break! He's exhausted, hasn't slept today, and is in his cot. He wants me to read him the same story over and over again (Goodnight Moon'). He's shouting 'moon! Moon!' through his hysterical tears. I can't distract him, even by bringing him out of his room.

Aside from spending all afternoon reading this book (which I will probably do in a minute when I've grabbe some lunch), any ideas what I can try? He really needs to go to sleep, but that's clearly not happening!

Bloody book. DD loved it too. I should have lost it...

Play it on repeat on youtube in his room while you sit with him with a brew?

Genius!

He's stopped screaming. I don't think I'll ever get the ipad back again...

I am not sure he should get what he wants so don't read the book to him over and over again. He will get the idea that screaming works and you don't really want that behaviour to continue. I just had to let mine finish their tantrums, and they do, eventually, then have a reasonable conversation with them and distract them on to something else. Personally I would lose the book! I would not play it over and over again either. Obviously a balanced diet of reading material is better for all of you.

It's hard because it is the easiest thing to give in when they are that hysterical and I have done it myself. I'm making a real effort with 19mo now to not 'give in', though, because I don't want her to learn that screaming gets her what she wants. Recently when she's started tantruming for something I've asked her calmly if she want 'x', and then asked her to calm down and ask nicely, and she is actually starting to understand this. Though for me this only works at the very, very start of a tantrum, otherwise to me it is just another form of 'giving in'.

I find that it's clear within about 2 minutes whether she's going to be distracted or whether she is just going to keep tantruming, in which case I'm quite strict and she can just get on with it, as long as she is somewhere safe.

I think I was strict with mine too. They only really had a handful of tantrums each because I nipped it in the bud if I could. I think being firm and clear in what you will do and not do helps and I found I could reason with mine so we averted full blown tantrums. My nephew is having tantrums at nearly 10 when he is asked to relinquish the computer after several hours! Don't le it get to this stage!!! This could, of course, be a whole new thread.........

I wouldn't lose the book- looking back it is such a short time and it gives such pleasure. I just think you need to be firm about your needs too as in 'I will read it now but then you will have to wait until bedtime' and make it clear that it is once, at bedtime. I would also go for ' we both choose a book, DC chooses one and Mummy chooses one'.
After that you let them tantrum and discuss it afterwards, in a rather bored tone, of 'I told you once and then again at bedtime'.

I don't think he's being manipulative really. Just really, really wanted the book but was too upset to enjoy it anyway.

A sleep in the car sorted him out.

I see it as tree separate issues here. On the one hand you have a child who clearly is overtired, and on the other hand you have a child who liked repetitive story-reading. Thirdly all kids have tantrums that may or may not be connected to being overtired. I really don't see them as always being connected!

Any child who is overly tired reaches a point of no return, And when you get there as a parent, there is nothing that you can do that will be good enough, as the child only needs to sleep! When my son gets to this stage I either put him straight to bed (kicking and screaming) or bundle him in the car and drive around until he falls asleep.

I think all children go through stage of wanting to have the same story read every single time. It's just a normal part of learning. I do acknowledge that it is hard for the person doing all the reading of the same story though! It just seems to be critical in their learning, and it is just a stage so it won't last too long.

Likewise all kids have tantrums and whether they are tired or whether they want a repetitive story which is critical in their learning, tantrums are always unacceptable. It can be so hard to separate whether to reach a compromise or not, especially when you excuse the child as ill or tired.

I personally don't give in to tantrums as much as possible, But always try to make sure I am being reasonable and meeting their needs (i.e. repetitive learning), and try to use deflection or distraction if they're overly tired, Craftily steering them to bed for a much needed sleep!

You have to be on the ball though because I sometimes find it's so easy to miss the signs that they have suddenly flipped into being overtired, and I can sometimes scratch my head and wonder whether monster came from!