miserable 6 year old

[rowdenwells]

Ever since my son went back to school two weeks ago he has been miserable everyday. His sister has also just started in reception which may be part of the problem. He goes to football and last weekend spent the whole two matches crying so didn't get a game, and today at swimming he did the same, but eventually went in after about 15 minutes. Also, at school time he tries clinging to me even though he likes his new teacher and TA. He doesn't have much confidence but when he gets used to something he is fine. I understand that I can't really do much about the confidence thing, but I don't know how to handle this new crying thing. I've tried cuddles and threatening to stop taking him to these classes but nothing seems to work. Any advise would be great please x

Have you tried talking to him? I have found that emotion faces are useful when one of my DC has been having trouble explaining how they feel, once you know how he feels it will be easier to ferret out the 'why?'. The tears and upset are often a release of another emotion, digging out the cause can be tough.

Have you spoken to his teacher? Does (s)he know about his confidence issues? Has anything happened to rock his confidence? Does he need any more reassurance at school? Has anything changed at home because his sister has started school (more attention focused on her transition/supporting her/helping her get ready/changes to after school routine centered around her etc)? Has any 1-2-1 time with you had to change?

^That lot are just things you might find useful, not the Spanish inquisition revisited

If this is a confidence or an anxiety issue then threats will only make matters worse, re-enforcing that 'this' (whatever it might be) is something he has always enjoyed and mummy will be just over 'there' watching (try to make sure you'll be easily spotted) might help him believe that you'll not vanish in him.

Hopefully you'll find the cause soon.

My DS went through a similar stage when he changed teacher. It took him a while to settle and ended up loving the new teacher. He also played up at the same time with other activities that he was used to doing, including swimming. We did stop some of the extra curricular activities because of this but we nipped it in the bud with school by having a nice teaching assistant taking him into the class instead of me and having him cling to me. It broke the habit and he settled in quite quickly after that.

Thank you for the replies. Today when he wouldn't go into swimming I kept asking him why he wouldn't go in, when he had had two classes already this term, and all he would say was that he didn't know what he had to do. The most frustrating thing is that I know he can do these things and enjoys them when he does. My daughter is much more confident and has settled into school really well, so I don't think we give her more attention. Regarding the teacher, I have spoken to her as she is the one who takes the children into the classroom from the playground, so she has seen the tears etc. She says he is fine once he is in class and was surprised when I said he didn't have much confidence normally. So it is all rather confusing and frustrating!
I will try talking to him a bit more, maybe get some time away from his sister, and see if he will spill the beans. I may be thinking too deeply into the situation and worrying unnecessarily, and he may settle down soon, but I can't help worrying about my little boy!
Thank you all so much. Fingers crossed then x