2.6yo dd doesn't interact with other children

[DIYandEatCake]

I know it's pretty normal for toddlers her age to just play alongside each other, but dd has never uttered a word to another child and doesn't try to interact in any other way. It makes me feel a bit sad to see her standing on the sidelines all the time - she prefers to watch rather than join in with other people (eg she loves bouncy castles but won't go on if any other children are on it, just stands there looking sad. A lot of gentle coaxing will get her bouncing on the very edge holding onto my hands. Alone, she will bounce like a crazy thing and shriek with glee... But obviously bouncy castles usually have other kids on them!).

I'm a sahm so we go to lots of toddler groups, to friends' houses etc, which she does look forward to and talks about afterwards, she will play by herself or with me if it's somewhere she knows, but avoids all other people. If another child or adult she doesn't know well talks to her she will just stare back with a serious face and not even acknowledge them. I try to model good joining in, and chat with other mums as well as playing with het do ahe can see me enjoying company.

I've been thinking she'll get there in her own time, but have been thinking more about it since we saw a friend with a slightly older child last week, friend suggested her dd played with dd while we got lunch and she said 'I don't want to play with DIYdd, she's boring!' She'll be starting preschool in 6 months and I just don't want her to be the one who gets left out or picked on. I'm maybe a bit sensitive about this as I was a reserved and awkward child and was horribly bullied, I really don't want that for her.

With me and close family she is kind, cheeky, imaginative and talkative and a very normal 2.6yo, though she is quite a serious and complicated character generally.

Has anyone had a similar toddler and what happened as they got older? Any good advice on helping her interact without pushing her?

Yes my DD (now 9) was like this. I used to take her to toddler groups and she would sit with me or play alone right beside me. She would talk very well to those family members she knew...but strangers or kids she'd not met...not a sausage.

She was very shy in her first year at preschool but I took care not to tell people that in front of her....I encouraged her to greet people with hello...or to say goodbye and I worked a lot on her confidence...and on role playing.

Your DD is very small still and may simply be like mine...who now incidentally is nothing like she was...in the last two years she has gradually come out of her shell and her most recent school report described her as "popular".

Iwas SO anxious about her but really...some DC are just llike this.

Don't worry, kids develop at different rates, and that includes social skills as well. She'll make friends at pre school. Probably she'll have a special friend who she's most comfortable with rather than hanging out with all the other kids but that's fine as well.

I was just like that as a child but still managed to make friends and fit in once I started at preschool when I was a bit older than that. I can understand it must be hard though to see those traits in your child when you know how it felt being that child yourself.

My dd hasn't inherited that part of me but I have another on the way and I am sure if she is more like that I will feel much like you do. As for how to help her, just accept and love her for who she is and she will do the same.

My 5 year old was a bit like this (apart from one vey close friend who he knew from birth and grew up with for the first few years of his life). Worse really - if an unfamiliar adult (I.e. not family or a very close friend) spoke to him he was likely to scream/ cry/ hide. Aged around 3 he learned to control his emotions better and the fusses stopped, but he's still quiet and shy around new people, and is slow to make friends e.g. at a new school. He's like 2 children - at home and with close friends he's confident and cheeky and loud and sometimes silly; in new or unfamiliar environments he barely utters a word and doesn't really make eye contact with people. But he's improving so much as he gets older, I have faith that it will all come... Hes happy now to eg participate in show and tell and in school plays, which would have been challenging for him a year ago. He's a delight really, very very bright and loving, but complex and sensitive and just not an extrovert in any way.

Yy to Please's comment re having a special friend. Fostering special friendships for DS has really helped him, and he has always had a "best friend" who is very important to him. It's how some children operate, I think. Maybe try to help her to develop one relationship rather than letting her loose Ian toddler group?