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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Baby car trouble!

15 replies

Mumtoason · 16/09/2013 20:22

Hi,

I'm hoping someone can help and/or give advice. My 13 week old bubba hates travelling in our car. He has only recently started crying when travelling? Hysterically!

To give a bit of background, until he was 10 weeks old we travelled in my parents car so I was always in the back with him or my husbands van all in the front together and he didn't cry! He also travelled in my friends car with her 15 week old in the back and my friend and I were in the front and he didn't cry.

We have just started putting him in the new car and he really gets upset when we drive. the other day he was crying so much that I thought he was going to choke and when I managed to pull over he was soaked in sweat. This also happened when doing a long journey in my MIL's car. It is sooo stressful for me and for my LO!

All cars are diesel
I have tried sitting in the back with him - only worked once
I've put toys in the back and one above him
I've played white noise
I've sung to him
Turned music up loud, turned it off
Talked to him
Talked on the phone over the speaker
Baby Mozart, Classical FM
Opened window, tried A/C
Checked belt isn't too tight
Tried baby grows so no pinching
Travelled after a nap and a feed and nappy changed
Made sure he is winded properly

Somethings work occasionally, but nothing works consistently!

Why is this happening? He used to fall straight to sleep in the car and van and now even when someone is traveling with him in the back he screams!

Surely it can't be the car?!

Help, I really rely on the car to get around and with the winter coming I'm really worrying as I won't even be able to walk to places as much!

Thanks x

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minipie · 16/09/2013 20:29

Hmmm...strange, it really does sound like he is uncomfortable in some way to be screaming that much. Try again in your parents car if you can, if he is ok there then it must be something to do with the new car... maybe the car seat is at a different angle? does the car maybe make a high pitched sound only he can hear?

gretagrape · 17/09/2013 07:39

Could it be something really simple like an air freshener that is really pungent and might be upsetting him? (also clutching at straws!)

Original poster

Mumtoason · 17/09/2013 18:37

Thanks guys. No air freshener but will try again spraying my perfum in there for a few days. Will try parents car again although not sure what we'll do if he's fine in their's! Lol! Swap cars for a few years! Lol! Fingers crossed! x

OP posts:

Bayliss1 · 17/09/2013 20:19

Watching this thread with interest!! My lo doesn't like the car much but that is due to acid reflux and the angle of the car seat. Doesn't sound like that's the cause of your lo's anguish though. Strange one!

brettgirl2 · 18/09/2013 07:03

Dd1 could scream in the car, I have a feeling dd2 could as well, but it only happened at crying time with her ifyswim? All this 'babies love it they just drop off' yeah right . I think the key thing is that it is a phase and he will grow out of it. Dd1 had a few hysterical episodes, generally on longer journeys. She would then scream for a week or so after. She was also a pita in pushchair/ pram etc.

The only thing I can suggest are lots of short journeys and avoid long where possible. As he starts to get into a sleep pattern plan long journeys for nap time. She also had a dummy which probably helped to calm her a bit.

I think the key here is you say he used to sleep the second you drive off. He's now facing the back seat but awake I think that's the difference not the car.

Dd didn't 100% settle in the car until she went forward facing.

Original poster

Mumtoason · 18/09/2013 08:06

Thanks bretgirl2. I hope it's not a long phase! My parents live half hour away, which i think DS classes as a very long journey! My LO has a dummy too, but it falls out and as he can't put it back in I worry this will add to the hysteria!

When do naps become more of a pattern or do I need to fix this pattern starting now?

I just worry that this type if crying is akin to CIO! I don't want him to continually feel that he is being abandoned.

Thanks for your support.

OP posts:

rattlemehearties · 18/09/2013 09:52

We hardly ever drive but when we do I have to sit in the back next to dd or she gets hysterical and worked up like you describe. We found things improved once she was sat more upright in a group 1 seat (the group 0 was too horizontal I think)

kerry85 · 18/09/2013 10:18

Hi, it sounds to me like he would settle and be fine before because he was used to having someone sat next to him, then when there was no one there he's got upset and so therefor he will associate the car with being upset even if its nothing in particular that is making him uncomfortable.
My advice is to put car seat in front passenger seat so he is next to you, can see you and you can reach over to touch/comfort him or replace his dummy. You MUST however turn your passenger airbag off to put baby seat in the front with a rear facing one.
Then perhaps when he's used to the car and the time comes for him to go in the back he will be in a forward facing seat with more to look at.

MiaowTheCat · 18/09/2013 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DIYandEatCake · 18/09/2013 13:32

Sympathies, it's awful. Dd howled half way round the m25 once. She started around about the same age, kind of coincided with her getting generally more wakeful and cranky. She did also hate my dad's car even more than ours, and I never worked out the reason... I never found a solution but she started getting less hysterical from about 5 months, then as others have said she was much happier forward facing and upright at about 9 months. She is good now at 2.6 as she realises it means we're going out somewhere, but does get carsick on long journeys and always has done, I sometimes wonder if her screaming was connected with that when she was tiny.

Original poster

Mumtoason · 18/09/2013 16:18

Thanks all - you've made me feel much better! Funny how you can start to believe you're the only Mummy in the world going through something!

Kerry85 Will def try the front sear for any journey over 10 mins and then let him build up his tolerance to shorter journies in the back

OP posts:

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 19/09/2013 22:23

DS is 5 months and has suddenly started doing this! He used to love the car and would fall straight to sleep, but the last two car journeys we've had to stop half way just to comfort him. Poor lad was bright red and had tears streaming down his face.

I personally think its more to do with the fact that he's aware of his surroundings now and doesn't like facing the back of a car seat and nothing much else.
He will get hysterical in DH's car as he's in the back. He's fine however in my car as I have him in the front with the airbag switched off (3 door car, pain in the arse trying to get him in the back). From the front seat of my car he can just about see out the window and see me. He will often just sit and stare at me while I'm driving (which is very distracting ).

I'm hoping the issue with being in the back seat is just a phase, but I do think it will only be resolved by getting him a forward facing seat!

MiaowTheCat · 20/09/2013 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minipie · 20/09/2013 08:38

Ah that's a good point Miaow. OP is it possible he could see out of the window in the old car but not in the new one?

Original poster

Mumtoason · 24/09/2013 15:35

To update, LO has been much better in the car since posting my original message. Maybe he's decided it's not actually that bad - mind you I haven't done a long journey without being in the back with him so ...

Here's what I did, I considered the new car smell might have been a problem so I soaked a muslin in Johnson's Baby Bedtime lotion and left it to dry in the car (he loves the bath so thought this would be a nice familiar smell) - the car smells lovely. The muslin is securely hooked over the back of the car seat that he faces and he likes to look at it and his toys against it! Maybe he didn't like looking at a black car seat, and if he's fussy I play Baby Einstein Lullabies in the car

Just thought I'd update in case it helps anyone else as it is sooo stressful when it happens.

OP posts:

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