Nearly 6 and tantrums....

[2littlerascals]

My daughter has always been highly strung -very noisy and vocal from birth... But I did think she would grow out of some of her worst behaviour and its not happening. It's embarrassing, worrying (little emotional regulation) and frustrating... We are even still having a few public tantrums including feet kicking, public and private meltdowns, too often....

Ay reassurance or advice welcome.

I don't want this to go unanswered - my 7yo still has tantrums with us, but not so much 'in public'. I still think that 6yo are working out social norms and understanding that having a strop in public is part of that.
What do you do when she strops out?

no real advice re temper tantrums apart from keep calm show by example thats sort of thing.
pick your battles not going back on your word but thinking before hand does it really matter if ....... sometimes cuts down on the amount of conflict.
no means no no matter what happens that should help with some tantrums.

i am sure you are doing a great job just by asking advice shows you want the best dd

I have been relaxed about it just talking to her calmly - thinking it was just immaturity. I realise now I'm going to have to take positive action and train her more. I think every time it happens I will take her to a chair to calm down and leave her there for say 3 minutes on her own (don't want to reward it with attention). I'm going to back it up with sanctions eg withdrawing treats. No school friends over for a play and no play dates. No going to a party if major tantrum. Also going to try some serious modelling by keeping everything v calm... Feel I've got a challenge on my hands!!!

sounds like a good plan but instead of taking things away which just cause resentment and bad feelings all round use a reward system
the sentence When and Then works really well
When we have got all our shopping and you have walked nicely Then you may have ....
that sort of thing.
work towards goals if that appeals to you star charts that sort of thing these are more for an every day behavior e.g a star for everyday she gets ready and walks nicely to school if this is difficult for her start low one or two stars before a reward at the end of the week is given comic hair clip the what doesn't matter talk about what she would like.
this will increase confidence and self esteem every body loves to achieve.

also things to bear in mind name the behavior you want not what you don't want. typically kids dont start listen until half the way through a sentence so you say dont run down the road. they hear run down the road prob not so much at your dd age but you get the idea.

the words behave, dont be naughty, be good what do these actually mean if you dont know how is she supposed to
if behave when we are out, means hold my hand and walk nicely whilst we are in the shops, say that. Kids are not mind readers
hope this helps