How old is too old - santa.

[Sindarella]

My ds 6yo came home from school saying some of his friends dont believe in Father Christmas.
I told him if they really dont believe in him then they wont get any pressies.

What i'm wondering is how old were your dc when they stopped believing in Father Christmas?
I cant remember myself, ds1 was about 8ish i think.

I don't tell my dc that FC is real. I have always said it's a nice story/fantasy but that some dc do actually believe it so it's not their place to burst the bubble. No such thing as too old really though.

I think you were wrong to say if they don't believe they won't get presents. Not only is this incorrect and will lead to more questions, it's a veiled threat, coercing your child into believing something that they will figure out isn't true. Say you believe or no presents for you! It's not really in the spirit of the festive season is it?

I know, it just came out my mouth. Hes never questioned it before, ive never had to say fc was real, it shocked me, my baby is growing up too quick!

Mine have neve really, really believed, I don't think. I've always talked about it as a lovely story- and left it to them what they believed and didn't. They put the beer and mince pie out and hung up stockings as usual last year. They are 17 and 12

I was thinking as i wrote my last message that maybe he just humours me, he prob already knows fc isnt real but doesnt want to tell me

I think believing in Father Christmas is absolutely magical and i intend to encourage my lo's to believe as long as possible. If they say friends don't believe I'd just say ' oh really, well I do!' You'll know when they are really ready to be told the truth; when they start constant, very clever questioning; such as; 'why don't the little children in poor countries get presents?' ' why didn't my friend get the super expensive computer he asked for'? When their common sense and logic gets to this stage it's prob best to tell them the truth. But the innocent little question of 'my friend doesn't believe' can be swept under the carpet so easily, and your lo will prob get another year or two of believing in Father Christmas. I found Christmas so magical as a child! It was never the same when I found out there was no Santa ?? I'd keep the magic alive as long as possible! ; 6 is still so young....

I agree with show.

I find actually telling your child he is real quite odd tbh.

I don't believe but all my Christmases are magical

DH doesn't want to tell them it's not real. I am 50/50 but not sure I can be bothered to promote the charade.
DD is only 2 and another one on the way so it hasn't been an issue yet. It sounds a bit weird but I grew up in a very religious household and I now really resent all those 'truths' being foisted on me at a young age.
I know it's not quite the same thing but I do value honesty with my children more as a result.

My 13 y/o still plays along, even when his younger siblings say they think its just mum & dad who put the presents under the tree! DS1 has been told in no uncertain terms that anyone who doesn't believe doesn't get any presents, so he has to pretend that he does for the sake of the littlies.

I think there's nothing wrong with prolonging it well into teenager-dom - we've never really done the Easter bunny (too disorganised!) and they figured out the tooth fairy pretty early on as she always forgets to come on the right night, but Santa is much more special than that and can't be written out of Christmas or the whole magic is gone!

I just don't get that. I have never believed as I was brought up in a country that viewed it as a nice story. ALL my Christmases and my sister's were magic.

Are you saying you don't enjoy Christmas now you are an adult? The fun doesn't suddenly stop.

I enjoy Christmas because of the children and part of that is about Santa, yes. We have family traditions and it's lovely to spend time together etc. obviously I love the food and it's nice to get a present or two, but the look on 3 y/o DD's face when she saw one of the reindeer's bells in our snowy garden was priceless.

Once they get cynical about it and it all becomes about the gifts then its no different to a birthday in my book.

I would just say 'well what do you think?'
I only told them when they asked outright- before that I think they knew because there were searching questions.
He has always brought presents in our house - whether or not they believe.

Birthdays are pretty magical imo too

"Once they get cynical about it and it all becomes about the gifts"

Sorry to resurrect, but just seen this response. That's such a sad attitude. If you reduce Christmas down to being solely or mainly about receiving gifts, then you're missing out. I never believed in FC because I was just too sensible (my older brother believed) but I adored Christmas. Still do. The gifts are such a tiny part of it. We have a £5 limit for each person and we just get a little token present each. Christmas here is about seeing family and singing carols and making decorations and telling stories and eating good food and helping out local charities and magic and playing and tradition and make-believe. For part of my family it's about their faith too. In fact birthdays aren't just about presents either. DS has just had a birthday and we totally forgot to do presents and he opened them a few days later.

I adore Christmas and so do my dc. If finding out about FC ruins or reduces Christmas in some way, you've built it up to be something bigger than it is.

Completely agree. Presents are a nice part of Christmas but only one part. I asked ds last year what his best part of Christmas is and was fully expecting him to say his pressies but he said 'when we all sit round the table and laugh'

Very true-the presents are unimportant. Father Christmas is just a magical element when younger-if you do it well they are not in the least upset, they appreciate what you were doing.