2yrs 8mths dd demands constant attention is this normal?

[Ledkr]

She literally does nothing on her own and spends the entire day saying "mummy/daddy" and pulling us to go and play with her.
She goes to nursery two days while I work but the other days we go to toddlers, the park, visit friends, Audi. Group, library and have a playroom and garden with trampoline, swings and slide.
She does absolutely nothing on her own we have to be interacting with her at all times.
It's ridiculous as I can't be out all day but if I'm at home can't really get anything done.
She's number 5 but I have a huge age gap so in not sure if my memory is bad but in sure the others weren't this bad.
Is this standard and if so how do others deal with it?

Audi group yes we all meet to discuss our Audi's

Watching with interest as no idea if its normal. My eldest 2.5 is like this. She has a younger sister so I often put the attention seeking down to that but she was like this before the baby was born.

If I go to the kitchen - mummy come back. When colouring - mummy draw too. At toddlers - chair like mummy (ie she sits next to me whilst everyone else's toddler plays) She prefers me to sit next to her when the TV is on. She never starts playing with others and only occasionally responds to be played with by other children - she just wants adults (usually me) Its exhausting. Mine goes to GPS twice a week where her need for attention is indulged. She has just started nursery and its been a hard first week.

My DD seems bright. Loves colours numbers shapes. Very cuddly and affectionate with me and her sister. Often seems tired but tricky to get to sleep. She loves routine.

Has your dd always been like this?

Yes she has.
She was a high needs baby with reflux and health issues.
She's also my dh's only child and I think he's indulged her quite a bit too.
It's bloody tiring isn't it? I get nothing done and feel shattered.
I wonder if there is a way of breaking this slightly.
I like so ending time with her but not every second of the day.

Bribery might work.

Elaborate please!
She is currently whining every time I look at my phone as she wants me to watch her drink her smoothie!
"Mummy look drink" surely not right?

She has probably become used to demanding undivided attention and getting it? How about saying things like "I am going to put the washing outside, you he a big girl and sit here and play with the trains. Then we can do x together." Then she knows it's a short period of time and she will see you after to play. And then do the washing! Sometimes things aren't negotiable, you only want a very short period f time and she is going to come to absolutely no harm. Repeat regularly and she wil adapt quickly

She cries a lot too.
I feel a bit desperate sometimes.
I'm sure it shouldn't be this hard.

I'd go to the doctor, and get her checked to make sure there are no problems. And then try your health visitor for some strategies? They can check sleep etc which could not be helping. Hang in there, it should get better.

Do you think so? My instincts are that it's not right.
She has a glue ear but not massively serious so I'm not sure if that is a factor or not.

My 2.2 DS is the same way, and he had reflux as a baby as well. He also could not be put down for a single second, and lived in his Beco carrier.

My new tactic is to spend intense periods of time focussing on him and only himmaybe an hour solid of reading and cuddlingafter which he will happily pootle in his room for half an hour. He seems to crave the touch as much as anything, so days where we cuddle and wrestle seem far easier than days on-the-go, even when he has my (mostly) undivided attention.

Thanks git that suggestion, I will try it.
Full on day again today .

Do you have any concerns with speech & language? Are they happy to play with other children, or just you? Have the nursery any concerns or input they can give you?

It wouldn't hurt to see your GP, with notes on the issues that concern you and if need be get a referral to a Developmental Paediatrician, if only to put your mind at rest and maybe give you some 'coping mechanisms' or exercises to try at home.

I know how exhausting it can be when a child wants you constantly at their beck and call, so give yourself a break and see what help is out there.

Good luck & keep us posted

Thanks. Yes I do think she's a bit behind with communication defo.
We are seeing hearing team on Monday and salt are seeing her at nursery soon to assess her. Luckily we have a great team to talk to as she had a cleft palate.
You are right I need to take some action/advice.

Sorry to hear you are struggling. It will get better. I know it feels like it might not, but it will.
I would really recommend having a chat with your health visitor. I know they get a bad press on mumsnet but a lot of them are very good. They should be able to look at the whole picture and suggest some things that will help. Please he honest and tell her you are finding it difficult. Then you should get more help.
In the meantime, if the clingyness gets too much, please don't worry about allowing yourself some time and bribing your dd with new library book, promise of time later, short burst of TV etc. I had a DD on antibiotics for over a year and have done all of those things to get a moment's peace, it hasn't done her any harm, reduced her dependency on me and kept me sane.

A hearing test is a great idea, I did that first and foremost before requesting a referral to SALT (Speech & Language Therapy), just to assess any difficulties there. They are fantastic and should be able to help you.

It can also be good to post on the 'Special Needs' noticeboard - not implying anything sinister but there are some very knowledgeable people on there and, I suspect some professionals 'in the biz', so to speak, so worth a go. x