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Daydreaming, fidgeting DD (6)

10 replies

JuanFanjo · 11/09/2013 19:00

I am after some advice for DD (year 2). Last year her teacher told me she was daydreaming all the time in class and not doing her work. She was made to catch up in her breaks and in "golden time" but it didn't make any difference. Examples: She should have written a page of a story but wrote one line, or drew half of a picture then stared into space or out of the window. We've tried to convince her to do her work and then stare into space but she doesn't seem to be able to.

When she didn't respond to encouragement, bribe and loss of privileges the teacher moved her down from the top set table into the next group down - although she hadn't shown any signs of not being able to cope - and all through nursery and reception we were constantly told she is very bright.

She's also a complete fidget - drives me insane with her wriggling. When she's reading to me she's always jiggling her leg or waving her foot, picking at the bedclothes, sitting on her leg and bouncing round. At the dinner table the same - sitting on one buttock on her stool, or sideways, getting up for a drink all the time and faffing about with everything. She's always been a jiggler - kicked me all the time in the womb and then as a baby my antenatal friends would laugh at her (nicely) as all the other babies lay on the mat dreamily and she'd be kick- kick -kicking away pretty much constantly. You could pick her up and her legs would keep going underneath her.
She's a pleasant girl, socialises well, is well liked by her teachers - who say she has the most amazing general knowledge and well developed speech. Although she can be very sensitive and also an argumentative madam at home (but not at school or out visiting - never ever had bad reports of behaviour from school or friends).

So I don't know what to do about her. Now into year 2 and I'd hoped a new stricter teacher would sort her out but it seems she's already behind (one week into the new term!!!) and has had to spend golden time doing some of her work already. I tried talking to the new teacher after school but she didn't seem interested or much bothered except to say year 2 is an important year (SATS) and she must keep up (which I bloody know but don't know how!!!).
I really don't think she's struggling. I used to be bored in class and daydream as they weren't going quick enough for me - then I'd lose track of what the teacher said and be behind and look like I didn't understand when I just hadn't heard. Maybe she's the same? But what can I/ we do about it? I'm disappointed with her being moved down a set (not for the prestige but) because I really don't think she was struggling rather not working which is completely different.

I am giving her omega fish oils at bedtime in case they help but anything else? Please?

OP posts:
Tambaboy · 11/09/2013 19:28

Regarding the fidgetting, 10 minutes of exercise before homework and/or dinner might help to burn some of that extra energy .
This seat wedge really helped my little boy to sit still.
still.www.amazon.co.uk/PhysioRoom-Seating-Wedge-Posture-Cushion/dp/B0057EQJUE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1378923719&sr=8-2&keywords=wedge+seat
Some kids use at school too.
What about timers for when she needs to do something at school? Ds's school uses sand timers and it seems to make him focused.

Tambaboy · 11/09/2013 19:29

Regarding the fidgetting, 10 minutes of exercise before homework and/or dinner might help to burn some of that extra energy .
This seat wedge really helped my little boy to sit still.

www.amazon.co.uk/PhysioRoom-Seating-Wedge-Posture-Cushion/dp/B0057EQJUE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1378923719&sr=8-2&keywords=wedge+seat

Some kids use at school too.
What about timers for when she needs to do something at school? Ds's school uses sand timers and it seems to make him focused.

Blackpuddingbertha · 11/09/2013 21:28

Fidget cushions are a similar thing to the wedge. They have them at DDs school to help with concentration in wiggly children.

gretagrape · 12/09/2013 07:48

Maybe she is bored because she is further ahead than what she is being taught? One of my best friends "struggled" throughout her school life, daydreamed, never finished her work, was always in the bottom sets and left school without any qualifications...she's since done a degree and a Masters. School just didn't suit her because she was too intelligent, so she gave up arguing with teachers who knew less than her about different things, and also because she didn't respond well to structure (the degree and Masters were both done part time over a longer period than normal).

JuanFanjo · 12/09/2013 23:25

Thank you for these suggestions. I mentioned the timer to the teacher today and she's going to try it. So thanks for that one.
Also I have a coxyx wedge cushion I'll root out and try to stop her fidgetting. Still don't know how to stop the daydreaming though...

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 13/09/2013 09:36
might help you to understand the fidgeting and see it as a positive strategy to aid concentration. I've shared it with DD2's teachers to help them to understand why they needed to allow her to fidget. the one on the pons is good too.

How is your DD with the sensory environment? She may find the classroom a hard place to concentrate and be zoning out as a self defence mechanism.

My DD2 found it hard to complete writing tasks in Y2 and Y3 because she found it hard to cope with so many options to choose from. She felt that she had to cover everything then the task became so big it was unmanageable. She needed a teacher or TA to give her more specific instructions and narrow the task down to something more prescriptive.

Her difficulties in choosing what to do, in combination with the distracting sensory environment, made my DD zone out pretty much every day. When she was given the opportunity to work in a quieter part of the room with space around her and fewer visual distractions and was given narrower tasks her writing jumped from a 2a to a 4a in a few weeks.

JuanFanjo · 13/09/2013 18:03

Goldmandra!!! That's my dd! I hadn't mentioned the chewing clothes and leaning on me! Thank you so much. Do you have any more links you can share please?

OP posts:
Blackpuddingbertha · 14/09/2013 17:00

That video is fantastic. DD1 is much better now with the fidgeting and not getting much work done (she's 7 now, Year 3) but I never related the chewing, leaning, hair fiddling, and personal space thing as being connected. Luckily the teachers were very clued up from Year 1 in her school, hence the cushions etc.

Goldmandra · 14/09/2013 17:19

I love that video too and it has helped several children I know have and easier time when they need to fidget in school.

Brain Highways have done some others which are linked on the same page. I like the one about the pons and the one about vestibular processing but I think the proprioception one is by far the best. Smile

Glad it was useful. I think it should be circulated to all schools and per schools.

Tambaboy · 14/09/2013 18:03

Excellent video, thank you

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