Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

nightmare 6 year old

31 replies

tappy · 14/02/2004 21:58

does something happen to a child when they are 6 mine seems to have turned into a nightmare, everything is an argument.we never seem to have any good days at the moment and i feel like all i do is tell her off. anyone else with 6 year old?

OP posts:
zebra · 14/02/2004 22:03

I'm currently moaning in the bar about how I don't like EITHER of my kids, age 2 & 4.... does that make you feel any better??????????

Lisa78 · 14/02/2004 22:03

they all do that! I think its like the terrible two's - its sort of another independance, finding the boundaries sort of thing.
I used try all sorts of distraction strategies - eg I'd ask him which veg he wanted with dinner and offer him two choices, I would say "in your PJ's before I count to 10 or I'm coming to bite your bum" then chase him up the stairs etc etc

It passes relatively quickly tappy, honestly - but have a chat with teacher, sometimes if teacher knows they are being difficult at home, they pull their socks up a bit (only lasts a week or so though!)

Hang on in there

nutcracker · 14/02/2004 22:03

Sound exactly like me and my 6 year old dd. Trouble is with mine is that she thinks she's 16 not 6.

zebra · 14/02/2004 22:04

Is there ever an age (after 18 months or so, anyway) when things DON'T feel like a constant argument?

nutcracker · 14/02/2004 22:07

Actually no, Zebra.

zebra · 14/02/2004 22:09

Thanks, Nutcracker, shall I order a life-time supply of tranquilisers now, then???

Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:10

thanks for getting back to me,i have told her teacher about it last week at parents meeting she couldnt believe it she thinks shes an angel like everyone else(HEAD NIP} hopefully your right and this might help.probably sounds like im moaning about nothing but i think it will help me a little

OP posts:
zebra · 14/02/2004 22:12

You mean the life-time supply of tranquilisers will help, Tappy?
Boy, you can tell I've spent too much time inthe bar, tonight.

Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:15

i know every age can be difficult, but this is the worst yet. she is really cheeky and can be horrible even to her friends

OP posts:
Lisa78 · 14/02/2004 22:15

God no, Tappy, it doesn't sound like you are moaning about nothing, its a really unpleasant time sometimes and very wearing!

Children are always angels at school when they are devils at home - and perfect parents always say they prefer it that way round but I would prefer an angel at home

Does she argue about getting dressed / undressed etc? If so, next time you pick her up from school on a day she has had PE, ask the teacher (infront of her) if she got changed okay. Teacher will say yes, why and you can reply, oh just that she took 20 minutes to get her PJ's on or whatever. Teacher will say something suitable about being shocked and you will have a daughter getting changed quick smart for a few days!

Course, in 10 years you will be posting about what on earth has she got on today and she is NOT leaving the house looking like that!

nutcracker · 14/02/2004 22:21

Tappy - My 6 yr old dd speaks to me like S**T most of the time just latley. Still haven't manged to figure out why, but it upsets me more than she realises.

Lisa78 · 14/02/2004 22:24

Well good for you nutty that she doesn't realise

Suggest you don't answer anyone, especially not a child, who is not speaking to you with respect (you silly old bint you )

nutcracker · 14/02/2004 22:28

Sorry Lisa, can you explain (period pain effecting my brain now). Why is it good for me that she doesn't realise ???? I have explained to her that i don't like the way she speaks to me e.t.c but she still does it. She is so cocky too. I think she thinks i don't love her, as she keeps writing me notes that say 'i love you'.

Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:31

thanks lisa 78 you must have been there

OP posts:
Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:34

to nutcracker my daughter is doing the same with the letters saying i love you i think its because we are always arguing

OP posts:
nutcracker · 14/02/2004 22:35

Tappy - Do you have any other children ????

Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:36

no i just have one thank goodness i know that souns terrible but thats the way i feel at the moment

OP posts:
nutcracker · 14/02/2004 22:40

I have 2 others. A 4 yr old DD who is very demanding but very sweet too and a 1yr old DS who is adorable. I think with my dd it is that she feels left out sometimes. She has never been a very affectionate child, even as a baby she didn't like to be cuddled or sit on your lap, and i think i've got so used to it that i sometimes forget to show my affection to her IYKWIM. If she does come up to me to give me a hug or kiss, i can tell she feels awkward. I tell her i love her all the time but i don't think she believes me.

Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:43

my daughter has always wanted affection and attention and has always had both im beginning to think thats the problem.

OP posts:
Lisa78 · 14/02/2004 22:45

Sorry nutty
What I meant was I think they behave like this to find out just how far they can go which means they are always pissing you off, and you are always arguing. Talking to you in an unacceptable way is bound to - in their opinion - to get a result, but you ignore them - ie not let on that you are upset and I think thats really good - I used to struggle not to lose my temper!
If a child talks to you in an unacceptable way, you tell them so. If they do it to draw a response, you deny them a response until they speak to you properly. Thats the theory, bloody hard when black is white and yes is no, all day long though!
Did I make sense this time?

nutcracker · 14/02/2004 22:47

Yes perfect sense. I've lost count of the times i've said to her 'if you speak to me like that again i'll........... Trouble is i very rarely carry out my threats (i know )

Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:50

i have always been good at following my threats through but recently, i feel like there is to much and im probably making things worse by not doing what i say i am going to

OP posts:
Lisa78 · 14/02/2004 22:53

think you should always set realistic potential punishments and carry them out - it worked for me with DS1

Original poster
tappy · 14/02/2004 22:55

your right lisa 78 but its not easy tonight i didnt even want her to have a friend staying for a change but i gave in cause i thought they would give me peace i know thats wrong but it worked .

OP posts:
Lisa78 · 14/02/2004 22:57

Perhaps you need to set a short list of rules and a reward chart tappy?