If you have a YR 1 child, can you tell me what their behaviour is like when they are home from school?

[Owllady]

I think i may well have started a thread previously. I have a son of 6, oldest in year I think, who has always had a few issues. He is a delightful child but he is very eccentric, uses massively long words and sentences to describe things and has done since he was very little. He bolts/runs off and cannot stop himself. Academically seems within normal expected range, though last teacher said handwriting was under par (but he's reception age, I don't suppose it really matters) All personal care he tends to himself, is very good at dressing and undressing but has been since very young tbh but doesn't sleep very well at all and never has done

Temper wise he is absolutely awful atm. He screams constantly, is very naughty, winds his sister and brother up, tries to smash household possessions up. Loses his rag really quickly, without notice. Is still running off when he can, accross roads etc He is regularly in trouble at school for fighting. Tonight he is headbutting me and other things and it just seems really extreme

I am wondering whether I should raise this further with school? or who? or is it normal for begining of term etc? i don't know

He has clearly set boundaries at home, I use positive reinforcement etc. His sister is severely disabled and on the spectrum, his brother, older too, is extremely bright but I cannot remember behaviour issues with him, not like this one. He has been in from school since 4ish tonight and it's like a war zone, it's upsetting my daughter as she cannot cope with the noise levels and confrontation and I don't know what else to do. I don't know whether this is within the realms of normal, whether it's because he has issues himself or whether it's because of our home life. He attends a sibling support facility outside of school which he loves going to and they report no problems though

I just wondered how others behave at this age. My older boy is into teenagedom now, I have rather forgotten I could just do with some advice on what I should be doing if anything and if it does or doesn't sound normal. Sorry if it doesn't make sense, I can't really think

What you're describing is extremely common amongst children at the higher functioning end of the Autism spectrum and is a reaction to the stress they experience from sensory overload, masking their differences and working extra hard to fit in socially during the school day.

When my DD2 was undiagnosed and attending a mainstream village school she was angelic in school yet would lose it and turn into a screaming, raging monster as she walked in through the front door. The school staff simply didn't believe how she changed.

Is it worth considering this as he clearly has some traits and a sibling on the spectrum?

a bloody nightmare

total emotional breakdown

I agree with Goldmandra - have you considered he has ASD, especially given he has a sibling on the spectrum?

Your experience at home sounds very similar to my own.

My ds is 7 and has high functioning autism. He keeps it together all day at school, is a great student and enjoys learning. He can read well above his age, but similarly has bad writing as hes generally rushing to get it done in order to get on with the next interesting thing.

Its obviously very stressful for him complying at school, so pretty much as soon as he gets out of the school door (often not even the playground!) it regularly turns into an unenjoyable and incredibly stressful four hours until bedtime. Violent behaviour towards younger ds, frequently non-stop (very articulate) verbal abuse and generally its four hours of refereeing and walking on egg shells, to try and avoid any major meltdowns.

If your son is on the spectrum and has just entered into a new school year, new classroom, new teacher, his anxiety levels are likely to be sky high - so he is going to be less able to cope and hold it together.

Fundamentally, if I were in your position I would draw on the resources I already had access to. If you are receiving support from professionals involved in the care of your DD, I would initially turn to one of them, raise your concerns around your ds behaviour and ask for advise and signposting - whether this is a paed or an OT or psychologist. The bottom line is, managing your DS will help you to help your daughter - so initially draw on the resources that you have.

If it unfolds that your son does have difficulties, then hopefully it will help you adjust your approach and things might improve. It all seems like such naughty behaviour, but reminding oneself that its not and its Autism really helps me to approach the behaviour in the right way.

Good Luck with calming the war zone...you are not alone :-)

I agree with the others, I think there is a high chance of ASD if there is a sibling on the spectrum. My ds has ASD and his sister is showing some red flags

meant to say my son was diagnosed in year 1, that's when his problems became obvious. The school got the EP in to observe him who wrote a letter to the GP asking for a referral

I have considered ASd, it is why I have posted tbh. My daughter's social worker also questioned whether he was on the spectrum and regularly brings up at meeting that 'he is real handful' in order to access more care for my dd. In the holidays I cannot leave the house because her needs are so high and he cannot be trusted to run off. Once he starts running he cannot stop himself. I have talked to him about it and he says there is a voice in his head telling him to stop, but another telling him to carry on running He also gets completely freaked out by things and will either run or hide. He went missing at a soft play centre once and was in an enclave in the fetal position because he couldn't find his way out, so he had just completely shut down.

His teacher has spoken to me this morning about the fact he remembers the day before down to the fine detail, she said he is always the first to put his hand up to explain what happened yesterday or about any given subject and apparently he was the same in reception.

Sorry for short post, I really appreciate all your input, I just feel a bit overwhelmed

I just feel a bit overwhelmed

I think I found it harder when it dawned on me that DD2 had AS than the first time round with DD1. I'd always used the differences between them to reassure myself that she wouldn't have the same difficulties but I just didn't know enough.

Do you have access to and while you sit back and mull things over? Sending ((((HUGS)))) to go with them.

village school she was angelic in school yet would lose it and turn into a screaming, raging monster as she walked in through the front door. The school staff simply didn't believe how she changed.
I can so identify with that.
My DS1 (now 17) was similar in many ways. Starting from reception his behaviour went downhill badly every September. I used to call it back-to-school - itis.
He was an angel at school but would come home and scream for hours.
It usually wore off before half term. The only thing that helped was moving forward his bedtime quite a lot and lots of structure.

He sounds similar to my son. I got referred through my GP and health visitor to a paediatrician when he was 3. He is now on medication for ADHD and I have recently had a meeting with school to discuss support that they can help with at home (outside agencies etc), and also the SENCO to see what support they're offering him in school.

Maybe have a word with your GP for a referral? Or school even.

You're clearly very concerned and need support so, whatever the real story here, I think I would talk to the school (who probably have a SENCO on site or one they can call in), and the GP, as your starting point. Poor you - what a difficult and overwhelming situation.

I think the problem is with school is that the senco (who was his last teacher) does all her training under my daughters sld/pmld school (which is autism specific) and she thinks I know more than she does! i think i will speak to my GP. He is doing that high pitched screaming atm and I am about to drown in a glass of bloody wine :(

I had a nightmare with our old SENCO. She kept telling me everything was fine In school (even though she had no involvement with DS) and she was sending reports to his paediatrician saying the same. Yet I was being called into school every other day as DS had been misbehaving. I eventually went through his class teacher for a report to give to the paediatrician and after that was immediately told he can start medication for ADHD.

We've since moved area and schools and the SENCO at his new school noticed something before I even had chance to tell her. Puts my mind at ease knowing she's on the ball

Sorry, not sure if that helps your situation

honestly, it's fine. I have a very severely disabled child, i can cope with this, ds2, it has just been the end of a long summer holidays and I do feel a bit in sensory overload myself!

she thinks I know more than she does! confused

You probably do. When you consider how many strings SENCos have to have to their bows they generally know only what they really need to find out.

Have you read any of Tony Attwood's publications? His Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome is fab and was my bible when my DD's were undergoing assessment. I felt like he had been watching our family when he wrote it. You might want to see if your local library has a copy.