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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do you agree that the children who have security blankets/comforters grow in to well adjusted adults?

43 replies

bramblina · 20/06/2006 21:22

My mum told me she heard this recently, couldn't remember where. I was quite against ds having one (even though he was given 2 at birth) as I believe they can be a brilliant breeding ground for bacteria and create utter havoc when it's time to live without them. However if you have any opposing advice I would love to hear it!

He's been unwell for a couple of days and has loved snuggling in to his shawl...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Californifrau · 20/06/2006 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecurMummy · 20/06/2006 23:57

I don't know what the usual age is to take a comforter, I had thought that ds was a bit late taking to it - but that is based on no evidence at all [smile

Lol after this he will probably never want one anyway - and you will be back here in six months time asking if you should try to encourage one (or at least that is what I would do!)

geekgrrl · 21/06/2006 07:01

TBH I actively encouraged mine to have a comforter. Little children need a bit of comfort sometimes, and ds's (2.5) comforter helps him feel settled when we go away, or on long car journeys, or when someone other than me is putting him to bed.
He doesn't do a Linus and drag his around all day, it's mainly something for bed, and has been hugely useful.
I find it quite sad that you are so against the idea. They're only little for a short while.

Original poster

bramblina · 21/06/2006 10:56

I'm not against the idea per say (sp?!) just the dirt they attract and how disgusting they can look. It's an association really. I'm well aware of how short a time they're little, we're almost planning ds's 1st birthday and it's worrying! "Babies don't keep" someone once said, hence I'm a SAHM.

OP posts:

fairyjay · 21/06/2006 11:15

Ds has two teds. He loved the one Ted as a baby, so when he was around 12 mths., and being shipped around (!), we bought a spare. At around 2, he realised that he had Ted and Ted's Friend. At 14 he still sleeps with Ted and Ted's Friend, unless he has friends to stay - in which case they are well hidden, or is away from home. These are very well travelled Teds. They have been on holiday all over the world with us. We have never stipulated when and where he can take them -it's up to ds. He loves me nearly as much as his Teds - a true compliment!!!

Bumblelion · 21/06/2006 11:22

None of my 3 children have had any form of comforter, although my youngest started sucking her thumb at 6 weeks and still does (she is now nearly 5). To be honest I did try to give my first born a comforter (blanket) because I had seen my friend's child with a muslin square that she would just drape over her shoulder and her child would go straight off to sleep. Even at a year or so, she would put her DD into a cot, put the muslin square in and off she would go to sleep. My DD never took to it. I realised that I was doing it for my own comfort, rather than my DD's.

My eldest DD is now 13 and when she has friends come to stay, they sometimes bring their comfort thing (blanket that now looks like a rag). I think my DD feels "left out" that she doesn't have a "blankie".

Like someone else mentioned, well adjusted children grow into well adjusted adults.

zippitippitoes · 21/06/2006 11:40

I think they will adopt soemthing if they want to regardless of what you decide yourself..so you can encourage them to have something or leave it up to them

ds had anything with a suitable "corner" a certain kind of hardness..he is 18 now and still recognises the qualities of a good corner!

as to health he sucked most of the dye out of his duvet covers so that can't have doen him much good

Caligula · 21/06/2006 11:45

pmsl at the title of this

I think it makes not a jot of difference. Some will, some won't, depending on what else more important than security blankets goes on in their lives.

FlameBoo · 21/06/2006 11:50

pmsl - yup, they can be bullied/abused/fed macdonalds, but as long as they have a snuggly/doidles/magic blanket/wooden spoon, they will be fine

(No, I'm not being serious, and no, I am not trying to put Macdonalds in the same league as abuse)

(Tis clearly much worse)

SabineJ · 21/06/2006 12:31

I gave to both DS1&2 a confort blanket when they were a few weeks old.
I think it has helped them to feel more secure especially at night.
For both of them, the blanket is normally staying in their bed so no issue of not being able to leave wo it and I have two of each so I can wash them regularly.
I think we ALL have our own way to confort ourself, being a blanket or a special behaviour (Sucking your thumb for example). Sometimes, we are not even aware about it. So no I don't see a problem with it.
I actually think it helps them overcoming difficult situations and terefore growing more confident.

SabineJ · 21/06/2006 12:36

Well I also need to be honest, I activally encourage DS1&2 t have a conforter by holding / feeding with the conforter before going to bed. It is working when they are litlle but older children will not accept it as easilely. They will choose tohave one or not.

Kidstrack · 21/06/2006 12:36

ds is 7 and dd is 3 both have used a teddy from birth,(ds has ted)and (dd has ba ba) i just bung them in the washing machine when they start getting a bit dirty looking, although dd prefers hers dirty, as soon as it came out the machine she would drop it out the pram on to the ground.Now she will go for months without letting me wash it. Both my kids i would say are secure and well balanced but i wouldn't put it down to their comforter

bluejelly · 21/06/2006 12:38

I had one, and reckon I'm pretty well adjusted. However my dd was not in the slightest bit interested ( prob cos I breastfed her till she was nearly 2)
Hoping she'll be equally well adjusted

Bugsy2 · 21/06/2006 12:56

LOL at this thread. It is a bit like saying that children who eat off china plates as opposed to plastic plates will be well adjusted!!!
A comfort object is just one tiny thing amongst an enormous range of factors that will determine whether or not a child grows up well adjusted or not!!

kayzed · 21/06/2006 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakedpotato · 21/06/2006 13:09

I had something called 'dock' and then 'poncho', and I'm totally fine. Now if you will excuse me it's time to feed the man I'm keeping trussed up naked in the basement.

I foisted comforters on both children. As geekgrrrl says, they spell silence on car journeys. Muslins from John Lewis, endless supply, wash them regularly so they don't bond with the dirt/smell

fistfullofnappies · 21/06/2006 13:21

my children never needed comfort blankets, and I dont think they are growing up insecure.

Original poster

bramblina · 22/06/2006 14:26

OK so the title was a little too firm, I'm just asking for examples of whether or not it can have an influence. The friend of mine that my Mum used as a example is well adjusted and had a comforter. I didn't have one as such, but think I'm doing ok! As for the references to McDonalds etc, I know I know, and I have first hand experience of a parents' divorce, that has bothered me and had I had a "blankie" or similar I know it wouldn't have made much difference, I'm just asking for general points of view! I guess that the fact that I'm bothering to ask indicates a decent amount of interest in my son's welfare. Just not so much that I'm obsessed......yet. Go figure!

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