Do you agree that the children who have security blankets/comforters grow in to well adjusted adults?

[bramblina]

My mum told me she heard this recently, couldn't remember where. I was quite against ds having one (even though he was given 2 at birth) as I believe they can be a brilliant breeding ground for bacteria and create utter havoc when it's time to live without them. However if you have any opposing advice I would love to hear it!

He's been unwell for a couple of days and has loved snuggling in to his shawl...

can i admit to still keeping my comfort in bed (oh the shame I am nearly 31) i even took it when I gave birth to dd and ds.

i think i'm fairly well adjusted, never did me any harm, although dh would disagree

DP was apparently very attached to his shawl. I only learned this when his uncle compared his attachment to DD2's passion for hers.

Well...my nan gave my mum a blanket to wrap me up in when I fell asleep at her house once. I was about 3 at the time.

I LOVED that blanket. It was too big to take out of the house because it was really a thin bed spread so my mum never had any problems about losing it etc.

I slept with it on/in my bed everynight until I was....wait for it......25 years old and 7 months PG with DS1.

I chucked it away in a moment of madness when we were unpacking from a home move. It needed washing because it had been in a plastic bag and smelt all musty, washing it was a real task because it was threadbare and old so I chucked it away.

I honestly, hand on my heart cannot believe to this day that I chucked it away. What on earth was I thinking???

The thought of it in some landfill site now makes me feel awful.

Am I a well adjusted adult??
well I think so but not if I'm talking and thinking about my blanket.

I think that children who express a preference for a comforter grow into well adjusted adults if they are allowed to have one with no fuss and no threats of its removal.
I also think that children with no desire for a comforter grow into well adjusted adults if a comforter is not foisted upon them.

Just follow your LO's lead.

nothing wrong with a comfort imo - whatever that is - dummy, blanket, teddy....

I think you need to ask your parents and/or dp tbh!

So far see nothing wrong with comforters - but my eldest is only 5!

I totally agree sugarfree. Because I was so against them (dh's cousin's 3 have them, {cousin is v educated but kids a tad spoiled IMO} and one has a strip of cloth, which he holds one end in his mouth while he plays with the other soggy end, or drags it along the floor...) the 2 he was given are just along with the rest of his teddies. He isn't showing a preference for anything yet really- he's 10 months, is it a developmental thing which will suddenly happen?

I have rules and limits and if he were to have one then he would not do what said relatives do, so I agree in that they have their place.

I'm just questioning my reasons now, and don't know what I'm trying to say...

Mercy I think I'm just being a bit neurotic again- I'm a first time Mum and have these bouts where I want nothing but the best for ds! You know where you go OTT obsessively organic, free range and chemical free? So, if it will benefit his development then I won't prevent it like I would have previously...!

I wouldn't have prevented it, perhaps just discouraged.

If theres one thing I've learnt in my 12 years in this business,Brambalia it's that there is NO POINT being totally against anything...your kids will always make you eat your words.

id say that was a HIGE generlasiastion

You mean theres a lot more to being a well adjusted adult than having a comforter or not,Cod?
Oh bugger!

oh god yes
" my dh whjacks my kdis evry night but it was ok cos she had a ciddly rabbit"
fgs

Well as long as you aren't clutching it and sucking on it while waiting in a queue at Lidl/Aldi/Sinsburys/Waitrose etc when your 35 years old I can't see what teh problem is :o

oops Sainsburys not Sinsburys

I had one and I wish I still did :)
ds outgrew his but still has a special pillow, he is 12
dd adores hers
I think anything that makes a child feel more secure and comforted is a positive thing.
We wash dd's blanket weekly
She lost her old one at 2.5 and quickly latched on to this one instead.

mosschops-still have mine too!

Sugarfree, I agree, again, I just mean, I would veer away from certain things a tad, and yes I know he will decide, I just mean I wouldn't encourageit as such. I find it hard to typr and express and say what I mean.
PH, yes, yes, at first all things were sterilised but now I even amuse myself how quickly I've relaxed as I can see some shocking things but think "oh well" and that's life. I believe that if they are exposed to germs they will build up a good resistance, and I by no means keep the cleanest house but you know, it was maybe because when I saw the child dragging it along, it was in MIL's house- which actually stinks, so yes, maybe it's a bit of snobbery, but I think you would have been horrified too. And I suppose you hit the nail on the head- what if they were so attatched and then lost it?

What's beggie?
What types of things do you/your children have? I still have my teddy (in a box somewhere) and I do remember a cosy blue fleecy blanket I liked to lay on my bed, are these classed as comforters? I certainly didn't take it anywhere with me, but liked having it on my bed. The whole point I'm trying to make is the one where they're dragging it along hanging out of their mouths. It almost goes hand in hand with having a baby in a buggy with a bottle propped up, 2yr old with pierced ears, living on pot noodles. Do you see where I'm coming from- or do I just sound like a snob? Trust me, i'm not- i still have ds's snot on my trousers from lunchtime!

I haven't read everyone's reponses so sorry if I repeat..

I believe that well adjusted children grow nto well adjusted adults - that is it!

If your child wants a comforter at some point then see what happens, guide it gently if you can to make your life easier, however, do not try to force your views on your child IYSWIM

When my ds wanted one he choose what it was, however I managed to make sure that he had two more very similar ones which he knows are different but accepts are good substitutes, this means I can wash one, lose one for a while etc. Also I gradually introduced certain rules, it is for sitting with not walking around with, it does not go out etc - but these rules have been introduced gradually when he was old enought to have it explained properly (apart from the washing one) so as he did not get upset.

I hope some of that is helpful (oh BTW only one of my four children wanted one - so your child may not even feel the need!)

Thanks securmummy, that makes a lot of sense. What age did your son show an interest?

I think he was about 18 months old so he was already old enough to talk to - which I why I started immediatly with having more than one as I could tell him he had to have this spare one because his fav was in the wash and would be back tomorrow. I was very matter of fact about it so he never really questioned it.

OK, good point. Ds is 10 months so I won't be expecting him to become sudently attatched then!