3 yr old calling out for me umpteen times a night

[cheekycherryza]

Hi all,

I'm a newbie here because well I am at my wits end.

DD still does not sleep through. The latest episode in the sleep struggles is that for the past two months she will call out for me umpteem times a night asking me to do things like fix her blanket or move her hair from her face. This does not happen at set times (I have checked) and can range from 4 to 5 times a night and on really bad nights it can be upwards of 15 times. I stopped counting at 15. To say I am exhausted is an understatement and I find myself unable to stay patient with her in the middle of the night.

I feel like a horrible mommy because after the 6th time I have to get up to fetch a toy from across the room I lose my patience and yell at her to go to sleep.

On the up side she will not get out of her bed, she will just lie there and call me. If I do not go to her she will scream her head off until I do. When I say she screams I mean she wakes up the entire street! She is not saying that there are monsters or anything like that. She does not seem to be having bad dreams. Or at least she is not admitting to bad dreams.

I have tried controlled crying with her in the past but it did not work. She merely grew out of one bad sleep habit and developed a new one.

I have read the sleep article on here but it seems to apply more to trying to get kids into their beds or settled at bed time.

Her bed time routine is consistent. She will often call me once I have put her down for the night until she goes to sleep. I go in to see her once or twice for extra cuddles and then ignore her unless she says she needs to go the toilet again - we go as part of her bedtime routine.

She doesn't seem to respond well to star charts which we have tried for behavioural issues in the past. The problem of her not sleeping is that I think it's affecting her during the day. She will errupt into a tantrum for no reason that I can see other than tiredness. Of course I know that toddlers don't need a reason to throw a tantrum. I think the lack of sleep is exascerbating the tantrums severity and length. After a tantrum she often falls off to sleep.

She stopped taking a nap at 2 - refused point blank no matter what techniques I tried. If she did fall asleep after a particularly active morning (see I did try to tire her out) she would then not go to sleep at night until 10:30; still wake up in the night and then be a grouchy tantruming toddler the next morning.

I'm so tired I can't even think straight anymore. I find myself having done silly things like put the mail in fridge out of tiredness.

What else can I try?

DS does this.

It is torture

Ds did this at that age. But he had a normal bed, so I used to just stagger through, and fall asleep next to him. Me being there made him sleep much better-he sometimes would half wake, pat the bed until he found me, put an arm round me (very cute!) and fall back to sleep. If I woke up, I'd go back to my bed once he was asleep, but it didn't matter.

After a bit he decided better was for him to stagger through to our room and burrow up the middle of us and sleep there. That was even better, I'd wake enough to move over, but not enough to disturb my sleep.
He also slept better, so was less grumpy during the day.

He's 6yo (just) now and for the last year he wakes probably about once a week at night. Depending on lots of things he either calls me through, so I go and lie next to him, and he usually is asleep within 10 minutes (so i then go back to my bed), or he comes through and burrows in with us.

Much better for my sleep, and better for his too.

Just wrote response but lost it grr!! Poor you, must be exhausting :( I think something you said is key "If I do not go to her she will scream her head off until I do". She knows that if she screams loud enough you will respond. It may be tough but it may require a few hard nights of completely ignoring screaming to show her that screaming will not get a response. Surround her with soft toys and a drink of water. If you must go in, say something firmly like "sleep time now, good night" and ignore request, leave the room.
On another note, could she be afraid of the dark (might a night light help)?

Hi all,

Thought I would update in case anyone else is having the same issue.

I started doing supernanny's technique of sitting with her until she goes to sleep then the next night moving a little futher away etc. I'm now sitting in my bedroom on my bed across the hallway until she falls asleep. If she can hear me, she's fine to go to sleep.

I have a discussion with her every night before bed about why she should call me in the night. Eg: if she needs to go to the toilet, if she needs a drink or if she's had a nightmare. I've told her that if she wakes up and there's nothing wrong she doesn't need to call mommy she can cuddle her soft toys and maybe turn on her princess torch then close her eyes and try to go back to sleep. We actually role play this and pretend she's woken up in the night.

She now wakes up only a couple of times a night and is half asleep but needing reassurance I go in and touch her hand so she knows I'm there and then I quietly go to her door and stand there until she settles back to sleep. Usually within like 2 minutes. She no longer wakes up wide awake crying for me. I think the being there for when she falls asleep has reassured her enough.

Still not perfect but better than before.

Hope this helps anyone else with the same problem.