Patience - I'm seriously lacking in this...

[celticclan]

So we were away for the most of the summer but in the time that we were at home the boys misbehaved and I struggled to deal with it.

Back to school today so I should be feeling great but I still felt at the end of my tether in the short time I spent with them. Ds2 will not go to bed properly since the start of the school hols, he wants me to stay with him for an hour before he falls asleep and even then he is playing up and crawling out of bed.

I feel so resentful and such a crap mother. I have no patience whatsoever and every word I utter is through gritted teeth. How do I get patience? I know some mothers with nightmare children and they are completely unfazed - how do I become more like them?

No advice about your boys specifically (mine is only 5mo!) but I'm having counselling at the mo and one interesting point my counsellor made was that we all experience the same levels of stress - it's just our individual way of managing it that differs.

One thing that I am working on at the moment (and which has worked really well for me in the past) is to try and be ultra-healthy and regulate my blood sugar levels. It might sound totally unrelated but basically if you take in anything that makes your blood sugar level rise too quickly then your body releases adrenaline into your blood stream which can increase levels of stress, even if you aren't facing a stressful situation at the time.

Try to eat/drink only things that are unrefined and low on the GI scale - it won't change the behaviour of your boys, but it might make it easier for you to cope with each situation.

Also, don't beat yourself up - you have no idea what these 'unfazed' mothers are like at home with their children - it could all be a front, or it could be that they aren't bothered because they don't think their children are doing anything wrong!

Thanks for your response. It's interesting what you say about diet because my diet is rubbish at the moment and I am addressing that.

I think I have unrealistic expectations, poor coping strategies and I do not give my children enough undivided attention.

Need to sort myself out!

Don't beat yourself up! I have struggled with DD this morning and I only have one to worry about! I was never a patient person before DD came along (although that does have its merits - I'm otherwise very driven) but I've had to massively address this being a mum. Sometimes I think she's better off with her Nana, like they're at the same pace, not physically, obvs, but in terms of say, the length of time it takes to get out the door!