DDs fussiness with food is getting on my nerves...!

[honey86]

shes 4, and currently leaves 3/4 of her meals... at the moment shes sitting at the table picking at her sandwich with a miserable look on her face. i let her choose her own lunch earlier, she chose a pasta meal. she didnt even try it, just ate her slice of bread n left the rest.
she wastes so much food its unreal :( i try not to draw attention to it but she does it so often im worried in case her weight starts to go down.

shes otherwise active and well. she's quite happy to eat sweets though mealtimes are starting to become abit of a battle. any tips?

Small treat if she finishes her meal? None if she doesn't. The wasting food does drive you mad, need to stop eating it myself to save the waste :)

Don't buy sweets. Or sugary crappy snacks. And don't offer bread.

Serve up smaller meals - she must like some things?

very small portions and put a choice of healthy foods on the plate.

Take away without comment if she doesn't eat or try anything but explain that that is it food wise until the next meal.

Does she go to school? Does she eat o.kay there?

I have a fussy eater in my 6 year old son. He has been the same since I weaned him. He wont try anything new and will say "yuk" even if he previously liked something that he hasnt had for a while. Luckily his limited menu does consist of a few fruits and veg and chicken. I have been cooking different meals from a kiddies cookery book to try and expand his tastes but he wont even try!

No sweets at all, small portions, she eats what's in front of her or she has nothing else (a little more lenient with newer foods). No comment/feedback/anything, very few children will voluntarily starve themselves - push for a referral if her weight does drop (some children seem to be able to live on fresh air at that age though).

Don't reward or encourage her to eat.

Put healthy food on the table and allow her to help herself. Let her eat as much as she likes and then clear away without comment.

The more you worry about her eating less and losing weight, the more it is likely to happen.

It is your job to provide a healthy, balanced selection of food. It is her job to choose what to eat from that selection.

Don't make anything forbidden, even sweets. Just make it available in appropriate quantities and don't make it conditional on eating anything else.

ill give it a go... its so tempting to bribe with a promise of reward afterwards, but when i think about it, i know i shouldnt have to offer treats in exchange for something she should do anyway. her brothers eat so well, clear their plates everytime then put them in the sink nicely, she used to do that til she started nursery, then she started all this.

pink thats pretty much how it is, refusing food that she used to go mad for.... even stuff i let her choose herself. she dont even seem bothered that she might go hungry n if it goes in the bin.
she had packed lunches at nursery and she always ate them (albeit very slowly) so its more of an at home issue. school lunch is at 12pm, tea at 4.30-5pm and shes very active so id have thought shed be a lil bit hungry at least lol

its so tempting to bribe with a promise of reward afterwards, but when i think about it, i know i shouldnt have to offer treats in exchange for something she should do anyway.

It is ridiculously difficult to act uninterested when every fibre of your being is screaming at you to get them to eat but it really is the only way.

Not only shouldn't you have to offer treats in exchange for eating, by doing so you are telling her that eating is an unpleasant task to be endured in order to go on to a more pleasant experience. The message you need to send instead is that eating is an enjoyable experience which you will enjoy and she is free to participate when she chooses subject to good behaviour at the table.

yy to small portions.

To avoid waste, you could maybe try separating all food into different serving bowls (eg peas, sweetcorn, tomatoes, small chunks of cheese/meat, beans, pasta, crackers etc) and serve (or let her choose) very small portions out of those. If she tends to fill up on bread or crackers first, don't offer them till last.

Then cover the bowls and use for the next meal or use them up in your main evening meal.

I've found that it can be helpful to make sure food is in small separate piles on the plate - my DC were often awkward about eating something that had touched a 'disliked' food.

Don't worry about certain foods going in and out of favour, just go with foods she will eat and introduce / reintroduce the odd different one from time to time.