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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

when does bath/bed routine become happy?!

19 replies

gretagrape · 31/08/2013 08:13

Hi. I have a 5mo who is generally happy now having had a few issues (tt, reflux, cow's milk allergy, eczema) - sleeps from around 7.30pm-6am and is just starting to get better at daytime naps (45mins around 8am, then one or two more of 45mins during the day).
Bathtime itself is fine - he has a real splash around and giggles but the INSTANT he gets put on his bath towel he screams and doesn't really stop until we go into the bedroom for the bedtime feed. I've tried bringing bathtime forward or holding him against me in case he's just cold after coming out of the water but nothing makes a difference - as soon as he's put on his towel the crying starts. (By the way, it's not lying down in general that's an issue - he spends tons of time happily rolling around on the floor during the day).
Is it just the stimulus of the bath that makes him realise he's knackered and so being put down/dried/dressed is just too bloody much as he just wants his milk and bed?
I really want to start getting in the habit of reading a bedtime story (he likes board books so although he won't understand what I'm reading him he's starting to understand the concept of books/turning pages/pictures) but the few times I've tried I ended up giving up because it seemed ridiculous trying to raise my voice so he'd hear it over his crying!
When did your bedtime routine become a really nice time to look forward to instead of an exercise in damage limitation?

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 31/08/2013 08:36

It does sound like he is just completely knackered. You both sound like you have a lot to deal with too. Think he will get better as he gets older but could his towel be a bit rough on his eczema? Unlikely but just a thought

Original poster

gretagrape · 31/08/2013 08:52

I tried using different towels that have been tumble dried so they are all soft and warm but still no joy.
Am I maybe giving him a bath too close to bedtime? I basically do the bath, then it's straight in the bedroom for milk and bed. I did try doing the bath an hour earlier a couple of times to see if that helped but then I ended up having to bring the feed forward as he wouldn't calm down then either!

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 31/08/2013 08:54

Doesn't sound like the towels then. What time does he have his bath?

Original poster

gretagrape · 31/08/2013 08:59

I usually do it around 6.30pm and then feed at 6.45/7pm. He then dozes on my lap while I keep him upright for 20 mins (reflux) then I rouse him and put him in the cot at around 7.30pm. Off to sleep with no issues, just a few minutes wriggling around first.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 31/08/2013 09:35

Both of mine have had bath at 6pm. Once they were on an evening meal, we do that at 5pm then bath at 6pm. Think mine wouldn't have managed a bath at 6.30, but they are all different and now he could just associate the end of the bath with lovely warm milk and a cuddle from you

Have you tried reading to him while he's in the bath? Just another thought

poocatcherchampion · 31/08/2013 09:38

used to happen quite often here.I think it was tiredness. dd got over it eventually.

noblegiraffe · 31/08/2013 09:42

If he has eczema then a bath every day probably isn't a good idea for his skin anyway. There's nothing that says a bath has to be part of the bedtime routine, if it's not working for you, ditch it and wash him some other time of day. You can always reintroduce a bedtime bath when he's older.

goingwildforcrayons · 31/08/2013 09:46

Ds was exactly the same. According to dm I was too. As much as he loved the bath, as soon as he came out, all he could think of was "FEED ME NOW".

Try singing to him. I discovered it by accident. Calm songs such as Twinkle or Beautiful Dreamer. This used to buy me a couple of minutes of non screaming. He would actually listen. Then when he got to about 8 months he started trying to join in and that kept him occupied so mo more wild screaming. He still asks for beautiful dreamer now (18 months)

Good luck

MaeMobley · 31/08/2013 09:49

Have you tried bathing him in the morning? Does he react in the same way?

MomOrMum · 31/08/2013 09:50

We had this and weirdly got onto a system where we would blast him with the hairdryer to warm him up and dry him off! Not sure if it was the white noise or the warmth but it would instantly stop him crying and we could do the rest of nappying, dressing, etc more calmly.

Sunnysummer · 31/08/2013 10:00

We had the same issue with screaming after the bath for our 5 mo, it has improved a lot since we moved the bath to the start of his routine. Now we do bath at 6, then kick around baked a bit, lotion and mini massage, feed, books, lullaby, bed...

Ours also has reflux and this works fairly well. If the reflux was less of an issue we'd probably move the feed to the end to help with the sleep, but for now we can multitask by holding him upright for 20 mins while we read him a story and sing a lullaby.

Actually getting him to sleep and stay that way, on the other hand, is sown thing we haven't yet cracked!

Sunnysummer · 31/08/2013 10:01

Naked, not baked. Although that might help with the sleep...

HearMyRoar · 31/08/2013 13:07

We didn't start doing a bath then bed routine until dd was about 14 months. It works great now but when she was younger it just didn't suit and left us all very stressed, not at all good for a nice calm nights sleep.

When she was younger we just did baths a few times a week in the morning or during the day.

PinkPepper · 31/08/2013 14:50

I found making the water a bit warmer helped mine (though I don't bath every night) think he came out warmer

Mutley77 · 31/08/2013 15:26

All my dc have been the same as babies. I think they just are desperate for food and sleep after bath and can't be bothered with drying and dressing. I have tried unsuccessfully to manage it by giving a bit of milk when in towel then starting to dress, a bit more milk and so on. I think is best just to do it all as quick as poss while talking in a soothing voice then get to milk and sleep sothey can relax.
Sorry I can't remember when it stops but certainly by age 1. Probably not long after six months when they are established on solids and in a bit more of a predictable routine.

minipie · 31/08/2013 15:49

My dd is exactly the same. It's been better since weaning as she is less hungry and naps more after lunch, but she still gets shouty sometimes while getting her pjs on. It's tiredness - she won't nap enough in the day, gets tired by 6pm but loves bathtime so revs up for that, then the wheels come off as soon as the fun of bathtime is over and she realises she's knackered. it's better on days she has napped well or nearer to bedtime.

singing calm songs helps a lot, as does giving her a soft toy to play with.

hopefully you will find it improves after weaning too.

Original poster

gretagrape · 31/08/2013 17:34

Wow, thanks to all of you for replying.

You have all kind of confirmed what I was probably thinking anyway - the poor thing is knackered and it's still a bit early for such a set routine.

I've only bathed him in the morning twice when he needed a clean after an explosion in the nappy department, and funnily enough both times he slept for an hour afterwards (only just thought about that) - I guess the bath is just too damn exciting for him at the moment!

Singing is something we do a lot - Tottenham's "Ossie's Dream" instantly calms him down (blame the husband who sung it from day 1!) but I wouldn't be able to read to him when he's actually in the bath as husband works shifts so 4 nights a week it's just me, so two hands wouldn't be enough! I do make up stories to him when he's in there and afterwards (if he can hear me). Love the idea of the hairdryer!

We were thinking of cutting down on the baths anyway because of his eczema, so were going to do a bit of massage instead as that might be a calmer, less stimulating activity for him, and maybe wait until he has a more settled daytime napping routine before reintroducing baths every night. So, I guess doing the massage early at 6ish and then a bit of a kick around and feed. At the moment because he is so tired it wouldn't work to try and do anything AFTER the feed because he just zonks out, but again once he sleeps a bit more in the day I guess this can be tweaked.

Thanks again - I shall take all advice on board and see how things go (little bugger's gone for a nap now - first time ever this late in the day - so routine won't be much earlier than normal for tonight!).
x

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Original poster

gretagrape · 01/09/2013 07:37

Well, I did without the bath last night and it worked pretty well. Quick massage (well, tried to massage whichever bit was facing me while he rolled around!) then kick around, then bit of a story before he started getting grouchy.

The scary part was putting him in his cot as he was wide awake and not looking ready for sleep in any way. He did cry a bit and I was terrified that he might not think it's bedtime so would wake up after 45mins thinking it was just a nap, but he slept through as normal.

Thank you all - that's the first bedtime routine that has been nice! I think because he was so unhappy for the first 3 months due to the CMA, once the dairy had left his system and he became a happy baby maybe I was too keen to put a routine in place straight away, then once it was there I was scared of changing anything in case he didn't like it. I'm fast realising that disliking change ain't an ideal characteristic in a parent!

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IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 01/09/2013 09:03

My DS is almost 5 months and recently went through a phase of hating baths - screaming from the moment his toes touched the water to the moment he got taken out. It was so distressing I tried at all costs to avoid giving him baths.
Suddenly it stopped! However, I did change two things - the temperature of the bath was slightly cooler than I would normally have and the baths were given in the morning.
He loves them now happily splashing away, doesn't mind if the water gets in his face and I've even bought him some rubber duckies to play with

DS also has very sensitive dry skin so have to wash him with hydramol every day so not sure if the cooler water was less stingy for him.
Also the time of day probably helped as he was less tired. I know this wont help in the long run as giving him a bath during the day will be impossible when I go back to work but at least this way I get him over his fear of baths and can begin to reintroduce them to the evenings again!

Good luck OP

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