21 month old won't eat at home.

[PastaBeeandCheese]

I'm so sick of this now.... My 21 month old DD won't eat anything for dinner. She literally won't touch anything I cook her. Until today she's eaten pasta but now that is being left untouched.

Today she has eaten

1 Weetabix
1/2 teacake
1/2 ham sandwich and a handful of grapes

That's it. She's refused everything else.

I've tried not reacting (didn't manage this today and just sat and wept i'm ashamed to say), serving tiny portions, letting her help cook, eating with her, letting her help choose what she wants in the shops.

Nothing works. She eats everything put in front of her at nursery on the 3 days she is there often asking for seconds. The staff joke that we mustn't feed her at home which is basically the case although it's not intentional.

Sorry, pressed send too soon.

Is there anything else I can do (bar not reacting like I have today again) and will this ever pass?

We're on holiday next week and I'm dreading it now.

We had this: DS (now 2.5) would eat beautifully at CMs or nursery, but would refuse or actively throw anything we offered him at home.

He did (and still does) seem to want to eat a lot for breakfast (currently he's on 1-2 bowls of cereal/porridge, 2 slices toast or 2 crumpets, and sometimes also yoghurt or fruit as well - he's only 9th febrile for height & weight, it's been like this for about 6 months at least!). He'd eat fairly well for lunch (weekends, etc) but wasn't really into dinner.

We decided that since he was still sleeping ok, and since he was eating well (and balanced) the rest of the time (especially if he'd had a hot lunch elsewhere, or dinner with cm) we would just let it go. Occasionally offer bread & butter as the only alternative.

We'd only off a yoghurt if he'd had at least some dinner (don't really do pudding here).

The reassuring part is that this seems to have passed: he's just had two portions of cheesy pasta, and even decided to try (and then wolf down) the broccoli.

Try to relax, if she's eating we'll elsewhere, she'll be fine.

(And he's just asked for 3rds)

Oh, when DS was at his worst, I'd put beebies on and let him mindlessly munch. A lot more seemed to go in that way. Finger food was best for this.

Er, febrile should be *centile.

We had breakfast in front of beebies this morning. I'm pregnant, knackered and DH is working abroad so I decided to give us both a break from the table. It was lovely!

It's good to hear it is probably just a phase. DH is home from China tomorrow and I'm going to talk to him about being more supportive as he just rewards her with trips to M&S cafe (where she eats everything) when she refuses to eat for him.

I am bad for waiting half an hour and offering a yoghurt or toast. Do you think I should stop this?

I am trying to keep it in perspective but failing she can't dislike these foods if she eats them at nursery so there is hope she will start eating them at home again one day.

Man, that sounds tough! You're doing great, I think you should give yourself more of a break.

Do whatever you have to to get through this phase. Yoghurt is good, I think more than a few times I gave in and gave DS a yoghurt (bio yoghurt, I'm very concerned about good gut flora and avoiding nasty bugs!).

I think they get a bit suspicious of food around this age. We've recently bought DS a couple of section plates so he can have things separate, and be sure of what they are. Like, the broccoli he ate this evening he would have freaked out about if it had been mixed in with the pasta. He wouldn't be able to eat round it, the whole lot would have been ruined in his eyes. But because it was separate he gave it a try. The other thing we've recently found is that he'll eat that really cheap frozen mixed veg that's in tiny pieces, but not nice actual fresh veg we noticed this was what the cm was giving him, so we tried it and he was into it.

We now also do the veg hiding in pasta sauce thing

And if it works, go out for lunch! You need a treat too!

I started an almost identical thread recently about 22 month old DS, and got some sound advice. Hard as I know it is, try not to make a deal out of it (easier said than done ). I now just put the food in front of him and don't comment other than to ask if he's done if he won't eat. I try him with new things with a little I what I know he loves to see if he will eat it. We all eat together as much as possible, but I don't offer substitutes if he refuses dinner, he just has to wait til the next meal/snack time. Someone did say that going straight to pudding after a main course may encourage him to get in the habit of thinking it doesn't matter if he refuses the main, he'll just get to pudding quicker!

He is actually getting better, and ate brilliantly over the bank hol (barring 1 day where he was too hot and over excited). I would say that if she's eating so well elsewhere then not to worry too much about her poor eating at home. Also, there's nothing wrong with going out to eat but I wouldn't do it if sea refused your food - reinforces the idea that she gets to go out somewhere she'd prefer whenever she refuses what you give her.

I also think there's a lot to be said for kids copying their peers. DS will eat anything at nursery, I think because the other kids are. I know it irritating when they refuse your food and you know they eat it happily at nursery! We are seeing light at the end of the tunnel, and I keep telling myself its a phase and it will pass!

Its completely normal, they all have hungry and unhungry days. Nursery give tiny, tiny portions that's why he has seconds, they all do

Another DS (18 months) who eats brilliantly for the cm here. He's hit and miss at home but whatever I send to the cm generally gets hoovered up.
We have found that he is more likely to eat a hot 'main' meal at lunch rather than dinner - so that might be worth a try?
I feel for you though - it's hard to sit and watch food get thrown on the floor, especially when they've always eaten it before.

That's interesting shoejunkie it's actually food you've prepared that he's eating at the CM? Nursery provide everything for DD so I did wonder if she'd just gone off my cooking!

Thank you for the reassurance. I've been dwelling a lot on the positive thing re nursery is she can't dislike all these flavours which will hopefully mean she will eat them again in the future.

I do normally give her dinner at lunch but we were out with friends this morning hence the sandwich. It is slightly better at lunch time in so far as she will at least eat pasta then!

reading with interest - my 21 mth old ds is exactly the same. He eats everything at nursery but won't try anything at home and sits in his chair crying.

Hah - we have the opposite problem! Ours won't eat at nursery...

Yes, at the moment because he is my pfb it's home cooked stuff, usually whatever dh and I had for dinner the night before.

extracrunchy Jack Spratt and his wife!

She's my PFB and I love to cook so I'm secretly offended she won't eat what I cook her if I'm totally honest......