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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

tips for when your toddler is having one of those days

32 replies

yawningmonster · 17/06/2006 23:49

DS is 20 mths and so far today has whinged, cried and lashed out at me from the time he got up.

I have done some painting with him
We played with some pasta shapes, spoons and containers
We read stories
We played with his "baby"
I tried to get him involved in some active songs in case it was just being stuck inside that was the issue (also have a slide inside for gross motor play)
We cant go anywhere as dh has the car and it is freezing outside (he would be fine bundled into the stroller but I would be a popsicle in minutes)
He cant play outside as our landscaping is only partly finished and we have the equivalent of a mud pit with lots of landscaping equipment outside)
I have tried snacks etc.

I have ended up putting him in his cot for a rest even though he doesnt have sleeps any more.

He often has days like this..just wondering what tips you have (please dont suggest going out as whenever possible this is exactly what we do, I am after stuck at home tips (preferably minus the tv)

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hunkermunker · 17/06/2006 23:53

He sounds tired.

When did he drop his nap? Can you try reestablishing it?

Does he eat well?

Other than that, why not try structuring your day so that he has a sitting activity, then an active one?

I feel for you, stuck inside in the cold (although I am slightly envious of cold weather as I hate the heat!).

alexsmum · 17/06/2006 23:56

can i ask where you are? assuming not the uk if it's too cold to go out?

Original poster

yawningmonster · 17/06/2006 23:57

btw it is 11 in the morning here not at nite.

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megglevache · 18/06/2006 00:00

Fun bags?

I have loads of gift bags stashed with all sorts of goodies like tootbrushes/small mirrors/chunky necklaces etc which I get out every so often when I am lost for something to do.
You'd be amazed how long a tot can be amused my an empty film cannister.

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:00

we are in nz, he dropped his nap a couple of weeks ago but to be honest he was like this when he did have naps too. Try to balance sitting and actve but he is just so negative about it I find it rather exhausting trying to plan activity after activity. I do try to get him involved in some independent play but more often than not as soon as I leave he does. I wouldnt mind so much about having to plan lots of things if he actually wanted to do them. I know what his interests are and try to build on them.

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megglevache · 18/06/2006 00:02

YM.
I have one just like you. I envy my SIL something rotten she has two and they just get on and play quite happily by themselves all the time.

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:02

megglevache that is a great idea but do something similar with 'treasure baskets' it sometimes will last a while, other times not at all.

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Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:04

would you believe it he has fallen asleep! Very rare occurance these days, keep the ideas coming please as I said sleep doesnt mean settled active toddler!

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hunkermunker · 18/06/2006 00:05

Can you grab him and play tickling and chasing and hide and seek? I do this with DS1 when he's a bit grumpy.

megglevache · 18/06/2006 00:05

Yep-knwo that feeling too. I have days when ds will play by himself for 10 or so minutes and it feel slike all my xmases have come at once. He can normally be found following me everywhere and asking for a cuddle/pulling at my clothes etc. Something he does like though is standing on a chair playing with the kitchen sink and washing up. He'll do that happily for ages but it means I'm tied to the kitchen too.

hunkermunker · 18/06/2006 00:05

I would say keep trying to get him to have a nap in the day - for both of your sakes. He might be a different child if he accumulates a bit of daytime sleep over a week or three [hopeful]

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:15

hunker thanks I do still put him down after lunch for a rest but he doesnt have a sleep (except today where he has crashed out b4 lunch...hmmm might try that for the next few weeks see if he will have a morning nap< worht a try.

Megglevache they may well be the same child...I almost always turn up the heat pop him in a nappy and an apron and let him play in the sink when I need to get tea done and I cant hold him and carry him around. How old is your lo? I also get some 10 minute windows into sanity where he actually plays happily and boy does he get loads of praise! (often unfortunately this results in him thinking "oh mum must want me to cling to her trouser legs with an increasing high pitched "UP UP UP" as I havent done that fro at least ten minutes.

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alexsmum · 18/06/2006 00:22

oh well-snow is forecast for you this week.you'll be able to bundle him up and take out to build snowmen etc

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:25

yes, you should see the malls, it is like the apocolypse is coming. I must say he LOVED the snow last week and we went on loads of snow treks and making snow balls etc.

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hunkermunker · 18/06/2006 00:27

DS1 wasn't happily having an afternoon nap until he was just over two - he always got tired about 11 (10 some days - he'd be up for two hours then go back to bed for three!). So I just gave him food at odd times (some days he didn't eat his lunch till 3pm, then had his dinner at 5pm - he'd never let me skip a meal though) and put him to bed when he was tired. It worked, mostly. He was two in April and he still sleeps in the afternoon - yesterday he had 20 minutes because we were out and about, but today he had nearly three hours - they do need it, IMO. Mind you, he goes to bed quite late.

alexsmum · 18/06/2006 00:31

i know it's not great for you, but i find the best thing is to get them outside as much as possible.even if it's freezing - a tramp around outside lifts the mood and tires them more so they will sleep better during the day.
even a walk around the block to look for cats/red cars whatever.
what about swimming? do you have a local pool you can jump on a bus to?

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:33

hunker - he was a morning napper for ages, until about 18mths then started getting later and later until it was after lunch, he only had after lunch naps for about 4weeks before he decided not to nap at all. I will definately try re establishing the morning nap though (for some reason had not even thought of this, just kept trying to re establish the pm one.

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hunkermunker · 18/06/2006 00:36

Good luck with it, YM - their sleep does go a bit wonky every now and then, I have found. I'm going to tell DS1 he has to have a nap until he goes to school, I think [hopeful grin]

Check his diet too - if he's eating or drinking anything with colourings or sweeteners in, cut them out for a bit and see if it makes a difference.

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:38

thanks for that, he is on a very strict diet due to a bowel condition so we are pretty sure that it is not additive related.

Good luck with the co sleeping

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hunkermunker · 18/06/2006 00:41

Thank you - off to do a bit of it now

Hope you have a better day. Don't be scared to put the TV on for half an hour - I'm really of the opinion that it does no harm (although with my new-found lentil-weaver tendencies that might change )

hunkermunker · 18/06/2006 00:42

Or an hour. Or an afternoon. Whatever gets you through the day, I reckon

threebob · 18/06/2006 00:47

On stuck inside days we always have a movie in the afternoon - just think if you went out in the car he would spend that long motionless in a car seat anyway if you add it up.

What about a book on tape while he is in his cot?

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 00:53

was wondering where you had got to threebob, a book and tape is a good idea, will have a look on trademe. I do admit I use the tv for short times when I really have to but try to avoid it.

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threebob · 18/06/2006 04:19

My thinking has become - well if they aren't having a nap they have 2-3 extra hours in the day that other children don't. So if they watch TV for a couple of 1/2 hours they aren't exactly wasting any time or being any more inactive.

I recommend the Thomas story book and CD which is in The Warehouse. It runs for an hour, or you can just play one story. If ds is having a bad day he will put on the CD and lie in bed turning the pages of the book. I think it's about $20.

Original poster

yawningmonster · 18/06/2006 09:04

Will pop into The Warehouse tomorrow and check it out, he woke up in a worse mood than when he went down and when dh came home we bundled up and went for a drive which he normally loves but still was a grump. He didnt come right until after his bath and then was a box of roses until bed time (ten minutes later!!!!)

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