I need some advice with my 4 year old daughter

[lilworthy]

My 4 year old daughter starts school next week. but she has very bad behaviour she screams , kicks , pulls hair calls people stupid I dont know what to do. ive tried everything and I cant handle it anymore. me and her dad aint together we split about 1 month after she was born. and they always tell me shes been good but she misbehaves for me ive tried naughty step charts. I went and asked the doc if they could help me. and they wont help me until see the hv. But ive tried the hv and I cant get through. I feel like im doing something wrong. Please try and give me some advice!

She's a little girl growing up and learning about all these feelings and emotions she has and doesn't know how to handle! Instead of time out have you tried 'time in'?! When she lashes out don't leave her alone with these difficult feelings; sit with her, hold her and talk through how she feels! Make her feel reassured and loved rather than isolated in a time out step! Also try using meaningful praise - so instead of a generic 'good girl' and a sticker maybe trying saying 'thanks for putting your coat on, it was great getting out of the house on time!'. Also choose your battles and let small things slide! Kids need boundaries but they need freedoms too!

Great suggestions squiffie.

I would also suggest you speak to her class teacher.

DD2 can be challenging at home, but is delightful at school. T our first parents evening, when he teacher described her, DH and i asked, "Gabriela?"

I try and talk to her but she wont sit still and talk to me how she feels.

Perhaps she needs time to calm down first?! Maybe something like pummelling a pillow, squashing a stress ball type toy - then talk!

Maybe go for a walk and talk then or talk at bath time or bed time?!

Choosing your moment is key. I have a very spirited 5 year old who is pretty good at school but rather more lively and vocal at home!

She used to get tired after nursery and its since I took the dummy of her shes got worse