It gets better?....WHEN?!?!

[plannedshock]

Aaaggghhhh!!!!!! My 5mo dd is the worst sleeper I've posted before on the subject. I thought it would get better by now, but no, not even a tiny amount.
She still feeds every 2hrs without fail day and night. She won't go in her cot-gets hysterical or wakes instantly even if she's in a deep sleep so is still in bed with me, she wakes up screaming her head off, only naps in the day when been pushed in the pram so I never get to catch up.
OH is in other room which is so crap we haven't had sex in ages, even though we both want to. I need a giant pillow to scream into!!! It's not getting better its the same, there's nothing I can change re:routine, this is getting long so will end!

Can you put her cot next to your bed with the side down/off so she's next to you not actually in your bed. Then you and OH can sleep together.

At 5m she doesn't need feeding every 2 hours. Is she on any solids yet?

Sorry it's been 10 years since I had a 5mo so I cant remember that much.

Hopefully someone more useful will be along soon.

At 5 months she is still very little. My DS fed every 2 hours (sometimes every 90 mins) day and night until he was 6 no this old. Then at 7 months he started going for longer stretches and (with a bit of help) at 8 months he slept for 8 hours at night.

It's probably not what you are wanting to hear, but she sounds quite normal to me and I think in a month or so you'll find she starts settling down. If she doesn't you can start some gentle training (if you want to) as she would be that little bit older.

In the meantime, you have my sympathy. It's very very hard.

Sorry on iPhone. Should read 'until he was 6 months old.'

"She still feeds every 2hrs without fail day and night"

Could it be that she is not getting enough nutrient-rich hind milk? Do you switch breasts as soon as the easy/fast milk runs out?

Maybe persist on 1st breast much longer before switching, and then after the feed, pump both sides for more (1) to increase milk production and (2) to accumulate a feed so your DH can give a bottle in the evening while you sleep.

Has she been physically checked over by a doctor? She sounds a lot like my 4.5 month old with bad reflux (the only difference being that he'll only sleep in the sling, rather than the pram).

Really feel for you - it gets worse as time gets on because the exhaustion piles up, your relationship gets strained and also because you start to see all the other mums start to get more on top of everything while your baby is still as tricky as some of theirs were at week 4

On a more positive and constructive note, we are having some small successes with the No Cry Sleep
Solution, it's not an overnight fix but it is working better than some of the other books which seemed to suggest that there was a magical way to put down baby awake and have them drift off, and that if it didn't work you just weren't doing it properly!

Sounds entirely normal to me. I'd gone back to work by this stage and thought it was DS reverse cycling.

He finally went down to only one wake up around a year old, and properly slept through by two. Most of the time.

It gets better. You're early-days yet. Hang on in there.

I just wanted to offer a little bit of sympathy. My DD didn't want to sleep in her cot or by herself until she was about 6 months old. We did it VERY gradually and the first few days were really tough. It took me a month of very gradually moving away and trying various things until I could put her in her cot asleep and walk away and she would sleep, she was 7 months old. Having a bedside cot really did work wonders though, we still use it now and she is 13 months. It makes breastfeeding in the middle of the night easier as well.

It will get better one day, but it will take time and with some children it does take longer. I am sorry, I hope it gets better really soon for you.

My DD had reflux and was exactly the same, every 2 hours day and night. During growth spurts it was every 45min-an hour.

By 6mo all my other friends had babies that slept through, I was still up 6,7,8 times a night. People kept telling me it would get better so I held on to that.

At 11m we are not down to 3 wakes on a bad night (my mummy friends gasp at that but if you're anything like I was this will seem like heaven, it is!) We cosleep and it sounds like you do too.

I resisted mt HV telling me to let her CIO at 7mo! I just kept telling myself it would get better because it had to, plus I kind of worked on accepting I had a baby that doesn't do sleep (she will also only nap in car/pram or if I feed her to sleep but she has to stay on my lap and sleeps for an hour max)

I totally understand how hard and horrid it is, and how ill you end up feeling. It will get better, not now, maybe not for months but it will at some point.

RE: sex issue, my DD will now sleep in our bed in the evening on her own (obs you can't do this yet with SIDS risk etc) it was a case of slowly moving further away from her in bed till she did an hour on her own, then straight downstairs for sex on the sofa! Needs must really!

Sorry, this has turned out very long

My ds was like this. I decided to wean him early as it was to the point he was feeding every hour day and night and was no good for either of usbgetting no sleep. It did help re the feesing. He still did wake up alot. But was easier to cope with without the constant feeding.

Like others have said, it does sound quite normal. Ds did not sleep through the night until he was 2 years old. Hes 2.4 now and still up most nigjts. He has not had a night feed since he was 10 months I think it was.

You hear all the stories of peoples babies sleeping through the night feom very young......good god it makes me want to wail like a bloody banshee at the unfairness of it all. I dont know if theres some magic solution....although generally speaking ive found ( with friends not a sweeping statement at all) that their formula fed babies did sleep alot bettter.

Try the cot with one side down on your bed, that way dp can start comming back into bed with you. May take a while....ds still now likes to be cuddled to sleep, but it will be worth it in the end.

I really would consider weaning her, or checking up on the reflux possibility.

Good luck. ( and for the rexord screaming into a pillow does help :) )

Oooooh and you can get those board things that you put the buggy on and it rocks it for you! I never had one and will await a flaming for them being awful etc, but a friend swore by one.

It really will settle eventually. As she gets older you can use different tavtics to get her to stay asleep. My ds used to surgically attach himself to me and scream when I put him down, so when he was a bit older I got a big squidgy teddy and had him cuddle that as soon as I took him off me. I stil do it now :)

Thank you! You know when you just have (another) one of those nights?
Definitely not reflux, getting a good feed (16lb+) I think she's just one if those babies, my oh is hyper so it must be his half!!!
Yes, to the reply about everyone else's babies sleeping through and progressing and other mums looking so together and me looking like aunt Sally.
I go back to work in oct I guess there's still time!!

I've posted this so many times on this site but I just gotta post again....cranial osteopathy. Try it. It might be your prayers answered, it was for us after 2 years of our DD waking 3 or 4 times a night, usually screaming bloody murder. My only wish is that I could turn back time and had her treated earlier.

My guess would be combination of overtiredness (causing her to wake every one or two sleep cycles) and inability to self settle (meaning she needs to feed to sleep every time she wakes)

Personally in your position I would get to 6 months and then use a form of sleep training (CC is quickest but not for everyone) to teach her to self settle, I would expect the night wakings to decrease hugely once she can do that. And you'd get your bed back.

DD was the same. Silent reflux (no vomiting, good weight gain due to constant feeding).

She slept 12 hours at night with 2x2hr naps within 48 hours of her meds getting sorted by the peadiatric consultant. She was 7 months when it all got sorted out.

I'm sorry....but I can't let that last comment go (so help me!). Cranial osteopathy is based on pants science (see here here for an abstract). And I just hate the idea of some person manipulating the head of a baby. There. If you like anecdotes, read this for general comments on osteopathy.

For a more helpful comment (sorry OP), sounds completely normal I'm afraid. DS was like this. Exactly (though 6mo DD is completely different). Got better slowly from 6m onwards. Tips: work on getting a regular nap regime and don't be afraid to nurse to sleep. It IS exhausting. Scream into a pillow and feel better for it. Take breaks when you can.

What LeBFG said re cranial "osteopathy".

You should be really worried if your baby starts sleeping unusually long stretches after some guy "manipulates" her soft little head.

DS was at his absolute worst between 5-6 months. I remember going on holiday and him waking every 2 hours all night every night and being so unbelievably exhausted. Things got better when I did the following:
Sorted out his naps and got him napping in his cot.
Got a cast iron bedtime routine and stopped feeding to sleep.
No lights on or eye contact between 6pm and 6am
Swapped bath/milk around at bedtime so I didn't feed last thing
Started him on solids
And much as I hate to admit it, when I stopped bf.
he slept through the first time when he was about 7mo and it gradually became more consistent.

Hang on in there

Also-DS was really sensitive to temperature when he was tiny, and would wake up loads if too hot or cold... Took me ages to figure it out, so try experimenting with layers!