Multiple night time wake-ups: Help I NEED sleep!

[Teapig]

Hello, I'm in need of advice for getting my 17 week old DD to sleep through the night.

Up until 3 weeks ago she was waking up once or twice in the night for a week feed and then settling back to sleep quickly.

Now at 17 weeks it's a bloody nightmare. Tonight she went to bed in her cot at 8pm (last nap finished at 6.30pm) and woke at 8.45pm, 9.30pm, 11pm, 2.30am and then a long process of re-settling/crying/rocking/feeding until now 4.50am when she is asleep on me and I'm shattered and feeling the rod I have made for my own back

I know I should put her in her cot awake but she always falls asleep on the boob for her last feed and if she goes down awake she thrashes about and shouts while I sshh pat and more often than not it escalates into crying. I take her out to soothe her which usually involves rocking or a feed. She goes back in asleep and then it's only a matter of time before she wakes and we start over.

I know she should go down awake but I can never settle her in there if she goes in awake.

I'm at a loss to know why our nights have become so bad. Is it sleep regression, teething, or am I just reaping what I've sown?
Any advice on how to crack this would be gratefully received. Thanks!

We've just gone through similar. Look up four month sleep regression. Lots of developmental lwwps disrupting sleep. Sorry cant link as typing with left hand while feeding.

You have my sympathy, and remember, 'this too shall pass . Have a lazy bank hol Monday, as DP to get up and help try settle and nap when baby naps.

I am experiencing similar with my 4month ds. It's awful and Im shattered. Have assumed its the 4 month sleep regression thing and that it will improve. Remember something similar with my dd at this age.

Don't think there's much you can do. My ds is in bed with me, dh in spare room, while it lasts. He still naps in his cot during day but cosleeping at night makes it easier for me.

Sounds like 4 month sleep regression. It won't last forever, I promise! Google it or pick up the Wonder Weeks app, it's all about huge developmental leaps happening around that age. Sending you and and hoping you have a helpful DP to share some of the pain.

Might not be popular or pc view but I'd say you are giving her really good reasons to keep waking up as she gets rewarded with being picked up and fed - if I was offered a piece of cake and a cuppa every time I woke up in the night I'd probably go for it too!
I'm not being flippant or superior about it I promise - I had the same problem with mine and we had to move over to bottle feeding 3 weeks ago due to medical reasons and I was so terrified by the idea of having to put my son in the cot awake that I put it off for about 2 weeks.
To be honest the first few nights were a nightmare so I tried the following which took about 2 weeks:
first couple of nights - shhh/pat/talk softly until he was asleep (this was tough, he cried A LOT)
next - pat but no talk until he was asleep
next - sit next to him and only pat when he cried (left him alone if just wriggling around and grunting)
eventually managed to leave the room with him still wriggling around and now I only go back in if he cries, and I just kiss him on the forehead, give him a quick belly rub and then leave again. Sometimes I might have to do it up to 10 times but it is getting better and there is definitely less crying and more importantly he is learning to get himself to sleep because he is reassured by the comforting if he really needs it.

definitely sounds like the 4 month sleep regression. Ours lasted a couple of weeks, then hopefully will resettle back to where you were a couple of weeks ago. That's what's happened with our DS. He went through waking from 3 till 4.30 s few nights in a row, in addition to his usual feeds. I got him to sleep by the same method that I used to get him to sleep in the first place.

IMO at 17 week's I don't think you''ll be making a,rod for your own back by offering food to resettle him and would feel uncomfortable to say the least in advocating any sleep training at this very young age. I think any type of sleep training (if that's your thing) can wait till baby is at least 8 or 9 months. This time will pass, hang in there, things will change again soon enough. In the meantime, take up any offers of help, and rest during the day if possible,though know this can be difficult. housework etc can wait.

gretagrape seriously? You go to resettle baby 10 Times?? Please just pick baby up and comfort them, it's clearly not working!

I said "sometimes" - mostly it's much less, this morning he's gone for a nap without crying at all and yesterday the most was 2 or 3.

What I did wasn't an exercise in sleep training, he's only 5mo. I would never leave him to cry and obviously I would pick him up if I didn't think a kiss on the head was enough - I'm not an unfeeling idiot. I never moved onto the next step of inching myself away until he was happy with the last step.

Sleep regression! Plus a big growth spurt too around 4/5 months. Cuddle and keep them near you.

My two both started self settling around 6 months once they'd got past the blip so I wouldn't bother trying sleep training - if it takes more than a week then a waste of time IMO. Better to wait until they're ready as you don't get anymore sleep.

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply and reading through my huge post. It's really nice to know I'm not alone.

gretagrape, I know what you mean about rewarding wake-ups. This has been going on for over 3 weeks now so I worry that the sleep regression may be over and we have taught bad habits which are now causing wake-ups.

I agree she's young for sleep training but our current approach (ssh pat until she cries, pick her up when she cries and rock and sshh, if all else fails BF) just isn't working.

If it was sleep regression I think I could handle it but 3 and a bit weeks seems long for that and DH and I are like the living dead in the day.