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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

5 year old not wanting Bday party

16 replies

missusmrs · 25/08/2013 10:46

Just looking for opinions, DS will be 5 in a few weeks - starting reception, went to nursery last year. Has 2 close friends and 3 others. His personality doesn't take well to new experiences/changes etc but he has come on in leaps and bounds this year. We had 2 proposals for his birthday - a joint party with a close friend in a hall with the whole class or a small at home party with 5 friends. He doesn't want either as others 'wont understand' his requested theme (Ninja Turtles)! he just wants a party with his younger brother, DH and I. I'm worrying about not pushing him enough socially.....or he is still v young and we'll have lots of parties in future........

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Sparklingbrook · 25/08/2013 10:48

TBH I would just go with what he wants. My 2 didn't have birthday parties every year. Sometimes they would choose a friend and go to the cinema or something.

I wouldn't worry-there will be plenty more birthday parties.....

Bunbaker · 25/08/2013 10:49

If he doesn't want a party then don't do one. There is plenty of time for him to make new friends and feel comfortable with them in years to come. It is his birthday, let him choose what he wants to do.

kelda · 25/08/2013 10:49

Just do what he wants. A party with his family. He may want bigger parties in the future.

sanam2010 · 25/08/2013 13:49

You are so lucky! Do what he wants. I've observed that most little children actually hate these big noisy parties in a hall or some party venue with entertainers etc., nobody enjoys it. He can develop social skills in other ways, pushing him into a situation where he is overwhelmed and uncomfortable is likely just going to make him less social.

I have never thrown a party for my daughter (granted, she's only 3), we just invite one or two couples who are really best friends over to our place and then 2-3 children can play together while the parents have brunch.

Since he has a brother he'll be happy playing with him and you won't need to organise anything, sounds fantastic to me!!

ProphetOfDoom · 25/08/2013 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Helentres · 25/08/2013 18:37

Either just do as he wants, or, throw a small, at home, surprise party with family and a few close friends :)

foxy6 · 25/08/2013 18:52

a family party is nice if that's what he wants we had a family party with ds for his 6 th birthday. he didn't want a big party as he only wanted to invite 4 children from his class I tried lots to times to get him to invite others but he didn't want to. as it was only 1 of his friends came. he had a great time with family and his 1 friend.

exoticfruits · 25/08/2013 19:09

He sounds a very sensible boy! Just do what he wants. I always think that these whole class ones are for the parent and not the child.

Original poster

missusmrs · 25/08/2013 19:58

Thanks for all the replies, we have been to lots of whole class parties this year which have been fine but I agree with him on not wanting that option -apart from huge expense which we can't afford! I liked the at home few friends, traditional games with a ninja! twist games etc and so did he until this morning! I'm happy to do as he wants, just niggling guilt that he's missing out!

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Helentres · 25/08/2013 20:05

Don't worry about him missing out. My DS1 had his first ever bday party this year and it was his 7th bday. Hadn't done one before as I simply couldn't afford it. He was happy with a small party at my dads house with just family. I think as long as you make the day special for him he'll love it

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 25/08/2013 20:10

I only did a party for DD when she was in reception because she insisted she desperately wanted one.

DS will probably want one, they are a bit of a pain and I can't wait until they have grown out of the parties and just want to go to Pizza Hut with their mates instead.

Original poster

missusmrs · 25/08/2013 20:33

Well moaningminge, the majority of the 'ninja' theme centres around pizza, so PH it may be!

My DB was similar in personality as a child and suggests we push him a bit as he was v like this growing up and feels he missed out- he's making up for it now at 27 mind you!

But he is only 5-the mountains out of mole hills we make for ourselves- eh?!

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lljkk · 25/08/2013 20:47

don't be daft, no party is great. DD didn't want one until she was 7.

lljkk · 25/08/2013 20:47

ps: DD now nearly 12, turns out to be the most sociable of my kids.

Original poster

missusmrs · 25/08/2013 21:15

Thanks lijkk, appreciate your comments, I'm being the numpty parent I didn't plan to be!

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Kiwiinkits · 26/08/2013 00:36

you can make his home party really special by allowing him to choose WHATEVER HE WANTS for his special birthday dinner. Kids love that. He can have pizza with icecream on it if he wants! How exciting!

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