She's mostly a lovely, kind, a good playmate, sharer. But she has shown a manipulative streak and a couple of times, many months apart, has persuaded another child to do something clearly very naughty. She can be manipulative in trying to get her own way and is good at spotting weaknesses in more sensitive children and exploiting that. If she's with a fellow strong-willed child they get on fine.
She is like that with us too - pushing and pushing for her own way - and we are hard on her though I don't think I set firm enough boundaries when she was 2 and 3 as I had another young baby and wasn't dealing with her demandingness very consistently and well (ie perhaps it's all my fault!)
Even when she's being fine there is a need in her to try and control other people and surreptitiously get her own way.
I'd like some advice on tackling this. I know it's within range of normal behaviours but it does concern me and when she's like this, or at other times in a bit of a hardcore rage about something I feel a bit at sea about my parenting and how to steer her away from this side. I'm worried that people won't like her if she doesn't curb this streak.
She's an angel at school and I have no reports of this sort of behaviour there so perhaps it's a territorial thing. ANyway any advice gratefully received.