People looking down on you as a mom - anyone else?

[Fazerina]

I'm sure I can't be the only one feeling like people are looking down on me sometimes, because I'm "just" a mom..

Before becoming a mom I feel like I was "somebody", going places and people respected me and my opinion. Now that I've been working from home in a dead-end job for the past 1.5 years and have a child and never go anywhere, people seem to have dismissed me as someone "not so important and slightly less intelligent than them".

I love being "just" mum, spending time with my son and watching him grow, but at the same time it hurts me how people treat me sometimes. I realise people who don't have kids are often very busy with work commitments and stressed out and looking at someone like me must make them think I don't do anything nearly as important. It just makes me angry that raising a child, managing a household and working to earn money is not seen as relevant as pursuing a career.

Anyway, I just had to get this off my chest and hear of others, who might feel the same way sometimes. Oh please let me know you exist...

yes, been there felt that! fazerina you are raising the next generation, be proud of that fact, being a mum is the hardest but most rewarding job in the world, after all without mums where would the human race be? most likely extinct thousands of years ago, having a child is a career in itself as it is a 24 hour job and you don't get to go home at night, as a mum of 6 i'm in full respect for mums everywhere whether they stay at home or pursue a career, everyone is special, at least you can say you love your 'job'.

Fazerina, being a mum is the MOST important job in the world. The most important thing you can give your child is your time and they grow up when you are not looking. You are important and you should value yourself.

totally agree with overthefields' response.

Who exactly is dismissing you? I would suggest that they're not worth knowing. I work and have two kids and can almost feel people zoning out if I mention them - as if being a mum is something to be ashamed of. However I don't care and will quite happily say I'm proud of being a mum because I am.
Do you feel fulfilled? If not, maybe your feelings about this tell you that maybe you should do something for yourself? Eg a hobby or something?

Yep feel your pain, its taken me 4 years but stuff them.
The only job your truly irreplaceable from is a mum. If they are silly enough to not realise your are doing what's best for your family & you (the same way they are) then stuff them.

I think it's to do with how you feel about yourself. I think I used to feel like that as a new mum. I do think some people lose themselves when they have children. I definitely am the same person, it takes time to adjust I think.

I never see anyone socially anyway now so I don't know what their opinions are . But I can see where you're coming from. Just wanted to say at least you don't live in the US - my friend who works for a Govt agency got 8 weeks maternity leave, only because she had a c-section, otherwise it would have been six, and one came out of her annual leave entitlement. She's actually European so knows things are better over here but when she pointed out this unfairness to her female colleagues they said "but you really couldn't take more time off as your brain would turn to mush and you would just never think again... She said she's seen ladies even looking ashamed to be pregnant.

You need a new circle of friends. Once your child is school-age, your social life with open up at the school gate. They won't look down on your being a mother because they would be parents themselves.

Hello all and thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really needed to read these comments! I am sorry for my late reply..

I can so relate to people zoning out when I mention my child.. I think part of my problem might be that I actually don't have many 'old' friends, who have children and that's causing some of the friction. I'm in my mid 30s as are most of my friends, who I've known before I had my son and I think some of them might be secretly jealous, because I have a husband and a child and planning on nr. 2. I realise it's not easy when the biological clock is ticking and you're single..

At the same time, I find myself missing the company of people, who actually know me and not what I feed my son at snacktime or how his sleep or lack thereof is driving me insane, which are things I talk about with my relatively new mummy friends. I often think I have nothing else in common with these new friends except the fact that we all have kids, which is not enough for me.

It's difficult to take on a hobby or a break for that matter, as we have no family nearby and DH works long hours and weekends sometimes and isn't home until DS's bedtime.

Anyway, I don't want to sound like I'm whining! I do understand that being a mom is THE most important role anyone could have and I am truly grateful that I am able to spend so much time with DS. I know the only person, whose approval really counts is DS. However, being the vain person as I am, I hope I could get at least some approval from my old friends sometimes ..