Please someone how can I make my 2 year old son understand that hitting, biting and scratching is an absolute no no

[GTLH]

My DS1 Turned 2 last month and has turned from Angel to Demon over night! He has started to hit, bite, scratch everyone! He is a very sensitive soul and time out does tend to work, and I have started having hitting competitions with him, if he hits me, I tap him on the hand, each time he hits me I tap his hand harder This does stop him after about the third time, but how can I stop this once and for all? Is this normal?

I don't want to take him to see his friends in case he starts something (sometimes unprovoked, but generally over a toy or if one of his friends is playing with his little brother).

Please someone how can I make my 2 year old son understand that hitting, biting and scratching is an absolute no no and to stop it....

I sat tonight (whilst he was in timeout after hitting, biting and scratching me and his brother, because he didn't get his own way) and tried to drill it in to him that this behaviour is unacceptable and must stop, he actually agreed with me, However, I am sure he is only saying what I wanted to hear.... LOL!

Having a 'competition' with him where you hit each other is not going to help the situation.

When you then go onto him to have a discussion with him about why hitting isn't acceptable, he will just be confused because you have hit him too.

A firm 'no' each time he hits/bites and removing him from the situation while giving him absolutely no attention will probably be more effective.

Perhaps give him something else to hit, bite, etc (e.g. a cushion, soft toy or something). Tell him it is not acceptable to hit, etc another person but if he feels the need to do it to the cushion/toy. Toddlers aren't very goodat controlling their emotions so sometimes the best you can do is redirect it somewhere harmless.

Great advice hawkeye21 thank you I will certainly give that a try :) Hotcrosspun, I believe this to be true, thankfully I have only done it once and then read about it on the internet, so this is not a road I will continue to follow.

I also read that biting could be a term of endearment just that littleuns don't understand how much it can hurt, i can believe that at times and then others it definitely looks a little spiteful LOL!

Tonight he was much better though, firm NO's all round, I did explain that even if biting is a part of showing affection, it (bloody) hurts (some words were mentally spoken I hasten to add ) that kissing is a much better way....

One day at a time....

He's too young to understand explanations. Just no.

Or try and anticipate situations. So if he bites when wound up, try calming him down before he gets to that point.

My DS is about the same age as yours, OP, and doing this too.

I don't believe he's doing it out of the home, as he attends a couple of childcare settings and they haven't mentioned any bad behaviour. So that's positive. But in the meantime us family members are bearing the brunt!

He headbutted me earlier. Deliberately. I cried from the pain. It is incredibly difficult to remember to rise above it and behave like the adult. He hurts his big sister a lot as well. I remember my DSis doing the same to me when I was little and I feel so sorry for my DD.

I believe his behaviour might be due to teething pain and his inability to express that, also much worse when he is tired. Sometimes getting him down to sleep/nap is the best option. Or sat up for a snack/meal/into the bath.

It's a phase...it's a phase...it's a phase. Good luck!

Maybe as soon as the hitting etc starts you could try saying no firmly while looking at him and remove him from you or the person he is attacking. E.g. If you are carrying him and he hits you say " no you do not hit mummy it hurts mummy" put him down, ignore him and walk away.
He will agree with you when on the naughty step because he loves you and wants to please you but at the same time his impulse control is very low.
Also if we were out e.g a friends and play groups and there was any biting I would say to my sons that if they did it again we would leave. And it if happened again we did leave and I made it clear by my tone he was in trouble. Sp although their impulse control is low hopefully it taught them Mummy meant what she said and there was a consequence to their behaviour. Good luck it's often phase and hopefully won't last long

I have a 21 month old who has also been hitting a lot lately so I ended up buying a book from amazon called "hands are not for hitting" we have found the book really useful and read it to her after timeout. The book has really good reviews and many people have found it to work.
Now when my daughter goes to hit I say firmly "No, hands are not for hitting" and now most of the time she stops herself.
However she has started biting over the past couple of days so I'm thinking of investing in another book in the range " teeth are not for biting"
Hope this helps

Overnight my 20mo started hitting and hair pulling about 2 weeks ago. The first week we tried the firm no but she just laughed and did it again. Then this week nursery suggested we try ignoring her... So we remove her from the situation and sit her on the floor without speaking, if she gets up, I sit her down again (I sit on the floor with her) We've been doing it for about 4 days and she's completely stopped hitting at nursery now and has hit me once or twice. Seems she just liked the attention, even if it was bad attention. She's usually lovely so it was quite hard to cope with, especially the hair pulling which hurt so much it made me cry!

Should have said, it's about a minute on the floor. Then I ask her to say sorry (I know she doesn't understand the meaning but it breaks the tension!) and then we have a hug and go back to what we were doing.