Go away mummy I don't like you

[savvymoo]

DS almost 4 is saying this a lot at the moment and it is really getting to me and I would love some advice on how to improve things between us. It is often but not always triggered by me telling him off about something - I try not to do this too much and I praise good behaviour constantly (he's a generally good kid so this is easy to do) and I don't think I am overly negative in comparison with other parents I see, but it appears he had a different view. He has always preferred to have daddy do things, rather than me, and now he is actively telling me to go away and when I ask why he says 'I don't like you'. Has anyone else dealt with this? Please tell me how you coped and if you did anything specific to get through/over it.

It is really beginning to feel like we have rift in our relationship and I am desperate to fix it. He is such a great kid and I tell him this a lot but it feels like he sees me in a negative way somehow. DH keeps telling me that it is just a phase and he'll get over it but I find it hard to believe and am worried it might be a long term view.

Please don't worry about this. He is just testing this phrase out, in a safe environment, because your love is unconditional. He's got a reaction from it, so he's tried it again. He's just learning to express his emotions
When my ds says this I say "really? I like you," then ask him if he wants a cuddle.

I second what deathbyladybirds says. Our ds1 wet through a phase of saying this, sometimes still does. At first it was 'daddy go away' and then when daddy spent more time with him it was 'mummy go away'. It was usually when he was engrossed playing with something and perhaps was worried that I had come to stop the play for tea, bath time etc etc. We were upset at first but now give each other a knowing smile if it happens.

DS used to say "you're not my mummy any more" at a similar age, charming!

As ladybirds says, it is completely normal, and it's a sign that he feels really secure with you.

DS is now 7 and although he gets angry with me (and occasionally tells me he hates me) he's old enough to articulate that actually what he means is that he's really cross with me about a particular thing.

Our DS who is 3.7yrs does this quite a lot with DH, which just as you have said, really gets him down. But I know (as in, really instinctively know) that he loves him and misses him when he isn't around. It is just a phase and I second (third and fourth!?) what everyone else has said. I find they are so fickle and changeable I just advise DH to try not to take it personally .....I know, easy to say when it isn't happening to me!
Just counter act it with "I love you very much " or similar and don't give any more reaction than that x

Just make sure you and your DH work together and he sees you are a team who support each other.. e.g Don't say that to Mummy.... no, its Mummys turn tonight etc

Both ours have had phases of this with either parent and showing them you are a team who they are a vital part is the way forward!

He's doing it for a reaction. You're over thinking this. If you think there's a "rift" then by all means spend more quality time with him, but it won't stop these sort of phrases

I used to just say 'well I love you' and carry on as normal. He does love you, don.
'T take it to heart, he is 4