19 month old - nightmare at bathtime and bedtime

[Snowgirl1]

Our 19 month old DD has been a bit of a nightmare at bathtime (and sometimes bedtime) for a while.

She's in nursery every day as I work full-time, so I pick her up around 5.50pm then we come home and potter around and play for a while, then at around 7pm I'll say 'time for a bath'. Then it all starts to go down hill - she'll say "no" and start crying at the bottom of the stairs. I usually have to carry her upstairs crying (her not me...at least at this stage!), then undress her as she wrestles not to be undressed. Eventually I put her in the bath and she stands there and cries/screams as I wash her.

Having cried at being put in the bath (and having tried to get out of the bath repeatedly), she then cries some more when I dare to take her out of the bath. She cries through being dried and resists me putting a clean nappy on. She fights not to have her teeth cleaned - arms flailing, head shaking. I have to wrestle her to get her pjamas on as she tries to take them off simultaneously - sometimes pjs are a battle not worth fighting.

Generally, I just ignore the fact she's crying and pretend everything is fine, try to get her interested in bath toys (ejected), sing songs etc.

Once bath is over we'll go and read some books - and peace reigns (ahhh, bliss). We usually read about 4 books (because I know when we finish reading the next stage of crying starts).

I get the feeling she knows that bathtime is the start of the end of the fun. Has anyone else had bathtimes like this and managed to turn them around? Please?

Could you try doing the bath first before playtime? Then it wouldn't signal bedtime immediately and she might relax about it. Might be worth trying?

7pm sounds quite late. They're always knackered after nursery! So I reckon she's just tired. I recognise the behaviour - dd does similar. You think she's ok but then something goes wrong and she flips out. I wouldn't bother with a bath - just quick clean, into PJs and short story then bed. I know it's hard because you work and want to see her but nursery is pretty full on.

Thanks for your replies, I've wondered about bringing bathtime forward but been reticent about it as it just feels like I'll be starting the tears and screaming earlier. Tonight was a nightmare, so I think I'll give it a try.

We've had two spells of bath-hate from DD. Once at around 20 months, and once more recently, at around 28 months.

Like you, I tried to keep things light but it got so wearing, day after day that for a few days I just ditched the baths in favour of a good wipe over.

Changing routines or mixing things up certainly helped, and we made a game out of just splashing water in the sink, washing face/hands/feet with a sponge.

Now, at 31 months, the shower is the place to be! However, as we're potty training, every bedtime is disrupted by 'I want a wee' within 10 minutes of being put under the covers.

In my dd's times of bath refusal, i got in with her, and she loved it then. It was a sort of 'we're in this together' feeling, she copied me washing my face/hair etc. And I didn't make it into a chore, but tried to give the feeling of it still being playtime. But she has an early bath as she needs time to wind down.

mix it up a bit - top and tail every other night/do a shower/share the bath - bring bath time forward, ban anything remotely stimulating when you get home, they are proper tired after nursery. maybe do the nighttime hour on TV when they say goodnight and the signal goes down to show everybody's going to bed at 7pm? agree the quicker the better.

Thanks MrsCosmo, pod and omaoma. Good to know others have had this and it's just a phase (I've tried telling myself this repeatedly, but sometimes I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel). I think I'll try earlier baths, ditching baths and getting in with her again (I've tried getting in with her before and it worked the first time to calm her down, but not on subsequent occasions).

Forgot to say that the second time we had bath issues, as she was that bit older, we shut her in the bathroom with us, and both took turns at getting in the bath, showing what fun it was. By the third night of this, she was desperate to get in, although she did want to get straight out again!

Thanks MrsCosmo, we just did a wash last night and there was no meltdown so I'm going to do that again tonight and try a bath (and maybe getting in with her) at the weekend when she might be a bit less tired. Fingers crossed...

Definitely one of those things where keeping calm/not making a big deal is the way forward. Sometimes it can take a while, unfortunately.

I also found that poking holes in a milk carton (clean) and getting DD to fill it up and pour it out in the bath was a good distraction.