Nighttime *tantrums* from 5 YEAR old. Ready for the exorcist

[loisstella]

My daughter has never been good at sleeping by herself.
She has crawled into my bed at various stages of the night for most of her life.
She got a bit better and then we went on holiday (and visiting family - we're expats) for the past 6 weeks.
We have come home and my daughter will not sleep.
She will make up any excuse.
If she does fall asleep she will wake up after a while and come downstairs and try to order us around.
She then gets very very angry.
Beside herself. I mean kicking and screaming and crossing her arms shouting nonono. She only wants me. If my husband gets into the room he'll get ignored, kicked and shouted at.
She's 'there' (its not a night terror situation).
She gets herself in such a state that she throws up and then gets remorseful.
But before remorse there's just no way to make her snap out of it!
I've tried to be gentle.
I've tried praising when she does do a good nights sleep (sticker charts with promise of exciting trip after 5 days).
I've been angry.
I've punished.
And today I got very firm.

Nothing seems to impress her really though.
She's very determined in most things she does; most especially being angry.

Any help, insight or tips would be VERY appreciated!

Oh god, you've just taken me back a couple of years, we went through this with Dd at a similar age. I remember trying everything but it was so draining. Some nights, the threat of no party/ play date etc worked, we talked of phoning her teacher/head teacher, sometimes that worked, and some nights, we literally got back in our own beds ( or Dd2's bed if she was woken wi the raging noise) and feign sleep, totally ignored, until she burned out.

She does it occasionally now, and we just ignore as best we can.

Good luck, it's hellish.

Just hearing we're not the only ones has made me exhale!
Thank you!
We have an exciting play date tomorrow and when I said she would not be allowed to come with her sister and I she just sobbed and then went straight back to her old behaviour.
I didn't bring it up again.
She tricked me into this thing of going to sleep in my bed and then me moving her to her bed when I go down. Which worked yesterday but today she was up to her old tricks.
After all the drama (I stuck her in the laundry room for half a minute) and having washed her hair with all the sick, I sat her down firmly and said that didn't work anymore. You sleep in your bed and I don't care how many tantrums you throw or how many times you make yourself sick, you're sleeping in your own bedroom.
I think it's the right approach because she wants to control this situation and I won't let her take over every evening. I mean: I won't anymore...
But is this right?

The other thing is she has a younger sister who is actually quite a good sleeper but has been woken by this commotion at times and I worry she'll start showing similar behaviour...

Yes, you must stick to your guns, it'll be really hard short term but worth it in the long run.

My younger dd is also a better sleeper and it was her we were most worried about. She mostly slept through it fortunately.

Acutely, Dd2 has just spent the best part of a week ill in my bed. Last night I put her back in h own bed and it was really hard. She kept saying she wanted to go to mine, was up and down but hopefully, it has paid off, she is never own bed tonight without a fuss. Fingers crossed she stays there.