Got my 5 year old all wrong. Disappointed.

[notnow2]

Ds1 is 5 going into year 1. He was a terror as a 2 year old but had settled into a thoughtful and kind boy. He got a great reception report which outlined his kindness. Today at the park he bit a younger child as he was blocking his way. I am so disappointed in him and have told him he has lost my trust which has upset him
The only reasons for this biting is that his toddler sister has been biting him recently and tiredness as we have had a busy start to school holidays.
I feel like I have got him a wrong and am one of those parents with the rose coloured glasses

He is 5 and still learning. You have written the reasons why which to me make perfect sense... his sister is currently biting and he is tired .
Ok yes you know it is wrong and so does he . I am sure when he has caught up a bit on his sleep you will be able to explain to him and maybe make him apologise if the situation warrants it ( depending on if the child he bit was not being nasty to your ds etc etc).

Having spent nearly 5 years watching children play and interact I have learnt a lot. The most important thing is that most behaviours are a phase and one bad incident does not make a nasty child (otherwise all children are psychopaths).

I remember DS1 regressing when DS2 was a toddler - he saw DS2 doing certain things and getting away with it and thought it was okay for him to do these things. It is called regression.

Whether you have rose-tinted glasses is not for me to judge that is a question only you can answer.

No you haven't! Kids aren't either bad or good, they can be both things within the space of an hour sometimes. I understand his behaviour took you by surprise at the park but he's only been on the planet 5 years - he's bound to fuck up sometimes.

OP please don't panic. My 9yo is a really lovely little boy but he also bit (twice from memory) when he was 5. Isolated incidents, honestly.

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Reading this thread is such a relief. My 5 yo Dd bit her friend last week. She bruised her very badly. I was mortified. I made her stay in for the rest of the day and we had a long talk but she did not give me any real reason for it. All I could ask myself is we're have I gone wrong

He's five! Give him a break. If you tell, or even just think, that your children are 'bad', you will break their hearts. He sounds lovely, kindness is a rare quality, nurture it.

I agree with rootypig. He's 5. I don't know how old you, his mother, are, but presumably a heck of a lot older. Do you always behave perfectly? Do you ever snap at your children and lose your temper because you had a bad day? Ever had an argument with your partner and said something you didn't mean? How would you like it if the person you love most in the world told you you had 'lost his trust'? There's more excuse for your son's behaviour than there is for yours.

You've both slept on it and today is a new day. How are you?

Ouch minitoot I don't think op needs to be made to feel any worse than she probably does about it all. Op, today's another day as the last post says. Give both yourselves a break and try to move on x

Blimey OP, you are in for a lot of disappointments.

All children behave badly sometimes and need reminding of the 'better choice' - that's what parents and teachers are for.

I do hope that you told him you were disappointed in the behaviour and not him. And 'loss of trust' is a pretty big burden to lay on a 5 year old.

I hope you are both having a better day.

I think minitoot was saying that if adults have problems controlling their behaviour at times - think how much harder it must be for children who have poorer impulse control and therefore not to worry too much.

Honestly, I agree with minitoot. He's 5, a young child. You're an adult. You can control your impulses better and he "lost your trust"? That's harsh.