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Behaviour/development

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At my wits end with DD

1 reply

neverputasockinatoaster · 13/08/2013 12:18

DD is 5. She will be 6 in September. I am at my absolute wits end with her.
Most of the time she is lovely, well behaved, kind, well mannered, thoughtful.....
However, she is a really whiney child. She also answers back when told off or when asked to do somethings. NO is her favourite word at times. She has never got her own way by whining and going on and on but that doesn't seem to matter! She is horrbly rude at times and if I speak to her about the way she is speaking to me she will screech and shout.
I do my level best not to be drawn in to an arguement with her. I will ask her to do something, eg put her lego away and then walk away while she wails and whines as I find it best not to feed the whining. If she asks for something in a whiney voice I tell her I won't listen to that voice and walk away if I can or ignore if I can't. If she shouts at me I tell her she is being rude and that if she continues she will go to her room which I follow through on.
I have read How to Talk and try to follow the ideas in there.
Sometimes I just want to yell at her to shut up but I bite my tongue.
DH feels that ignoring the whining is pandering to it and he will tell her off which just leads to more whining.....
We have just been away and I suddenly realised that my mum doesn't like my DD because of the whining and that cut me to the quick.
So, what do I do?
Any tips? She is a difficult child - DS is ASD and I suspect DD may also have some traits. I love her so very much and it really hurts to realise others don't like her or want to be with her. I want her to stop bloody whining and stop answering back but I don't know how to get her to stop. My methods aren't working but I don't know what else o do!

OP posts:
sparklekitty · 13/08/2013 16:11

I teach 5 and 6yos. They are a whiny bunch!

I ignore, then say 'I will not talk to you if you use that baby voice' then ignore. If they keep going I use exactly the same phrase, never deviate from it. They soon get the message. Every so often they revert back and I raise my eyebrow and they stop.

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