has anyone successfully potty trained a kid who isn't "ready"?

[fififrog]

I don't really want to potty train DD, she seems to have zero awareness of when she needs to go, can sit on potty for a few minutes doing nothing, then pee on the floor two mins later. But she has bad eczema and dreadful nappy rash and it is just getting marginally better after 48 hours with no nappies (except at night). I just feel so upset at how sore she is and I don't want her to have to go through it again. Is it worth even trying!

There's no harm in trying as long as neither of your get stressed by the accidents - you could give it a go for a week or so and if she's making no progress then go back to nappies and forget it for a while. My youngest had horrible nappy rash at 21 months so I left him nappy-free for a few hours and casually suggested he might like to try the potty - he refused to wear a nappy again in the day and within a week was pretty much reliably dry much to my amazement. Until that point he had showed no signs of being ready and I wasn't even considering it for another few months. But that's how he is - once he decides he wants to do something he is determined to do it. Which is seriously frustrating amazing most of the time.

Thanks fuzzy, that's just it, she's not really that chuffed about peeing in her trousers or on the floor, i honestly wouldn't put her through this at all but the little bottom is getting so much better gradually with lots of air time and just loose knickers not nappies. I guess what I want to know is, is there anyone out there who, for whatever reason, tried potty training, found their DC really wasn't ready and had to change their clothes 10x a day who persisted beyond a couple of days and it all worked out within a week or so? Or if they're not ready is it really too cruel to try? Yours sounds like he Was ready enough, even if he didn't know it!

I took him to the toilet every 20 mins and then gradually increased the time. It was actually easier having to clean up the accidents than nappy change. He still won't say when he needs to go, is in nappies at night (nearly 4) but it is much easier. Huge amounts of praise when he does something, now I don't insist he goes, just ask every hour or so and a little reward if he has a dry day.

How old is she?

Given its summer and the weather is'nice its an ideal time to try.

I would stick with the pants and offering the potty as long as she isn't upset, if she becomes overly upset at wetting herself then you will have to rethink.

Just keep it relaxed,'no fuss at accidents just clean it up and be 'never mind' etc.

Basically if she is happy and you don't mind cleaning up you may as well keep going for a bit but you dont want it to upset her.

Yup. DS has a fiddling habit, and started shredding his nappies within 5 minutes of putting them on, so we felt we had no choice but to PT. He was 3 but he'd never told us he wanted the potty, or even told us when his nappy was wet/dirty, so we were convinced he wasn't ready. Like margarita, we started by taking him every 20 mins and he still managed accidents in between. Over the first week we got lazier so it spaced out. In the 2nd week he started asking to go, and by week 3 I'd say he was basically trained with the occasional accident.

Most parents who 'potty trained' my generation (30/40 year olds & obviously older generations) did this. Cloth nappies were a much better incentive to get kids out of nappies! I was clean & dry at 17 months - my parents were taking me travelling and didn't want to be trying to launder nappies!

I just PT the little one, 2 next month, he was asking to wear pants like his big brother - the first 3 days I began to wonder if I'd lost my mind thinking this was a good idea (about 8 changes each day), day 4 not a single accident and none since (all toileting when he asks, not being taken all the time except if we are doing a car journey of over 20 mins, then I take him beforehand) - dry/clean at night too.

I'd do it if I were you.

Me! I was persuaded by nursery and busy body grandparent to potty train because my daughter wanted to only poo on potty from 22 months.

She wasn't ready to be dry in terms of urine. We had a hellish first week then things got better but she reliably had about 12 accidents a week for about 6 months. Getting gradually better and now at 5, I would say her accidents are very occasional.

Hello, thank you all, as Chipping says, obviously it is possible as our parents would have done it under these circumstances - in fact the last awful bout of rash was at 17 months and we were using cloth. That time, switching to disposables sorted the issue but I was thinking that back when I was a toddler there would have been little choice but to potty train as disposables were v expensive and not that good either. Unfortunately since then she's developed eczema and her skin has got generally more sensitive (She's now 2 and nearly 5 months by the way).

Anyway, despite begging me to put a nappy on yesterday evening, this morning she said she wanted to wear knickers, so I packed her off to nursery with 10 changes of clothes, and although she didn't do anything in the potty they only changed her clothes three times . She does cry quite a bit when she wets (or poos!) herself, but although I think she was a bit worn down by the whole experience yesterday, she generally perks up quickly so I think (hope?) she's not too traumatised...

Nursery seemed pretty unfazed and said "she'll get it, don't worry" and you guys have certainly given me confidence that she might just get it over the next few days... we shall give it til the end of the week and if no progress at least hopefully the bottom will be healed completely.

PS Blimey, stripey 12 accidents a week.... thank you for preparing me for that possibility! And it does go to show that however tough they do get there in the end!

Good luck!!

Incentivise away - stickers, bubble, sweets, crack cocaine whatever it takes :)

How old is your cihld. Most children who show no interest in potty training are physiologically ready by three years old if not two and half years old. Potty training is hard work and I feel its a mistake to give up too soon.

It sounds like to me that having your daughter bare bottomed at the moment is a good idea, even if she doesn't get potty training. Being bare bottomed is a well known cure for nappy rash. Try and have her outside as much as possible.

We potty trained before DS was really ready because of nappy rash. He had just turned two at the time. It was hard work, he was still having multiple accidents a day after six weeks and it was months and months before we could leave the house without several changes of clothes. But it sounds like you don't really have that much choice. DS wasn't traumatised by the experience, and it didn't really stop us doing anything - just meant that we needed to prompt him to use the toilet a lot, and change him quite frequently.

Thanks for the advice. An update for anyone interested... Maybe it will help someone in the future who's looking for moral support! It's going OK actually. Since I last posted, she has been dry overnight three nights in a row, and has gone down to two, two and one accident respectively. Yesterday she was very nervous of sitting on the potty but did do three pees. Somehow today after spending the day with daddy she was crying when we had to tell her to get off the potty because she didn't have any pee left! She has done all her pees in the potty today. Am totally amazed at the change, even since yesterday! And best of all the rash has gone. Will definitely be sticking at it, given the progress in the last five days. Boy is it exhausting though, can think of little else, even at work!

Very soon you will forget all of this and just have one little girl in pants :) Honest!