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Reassurance this is the right action to take...

8 replies

ladypop · 11/08/2013 16:25

After reading advice on here as well as from our hv, today i had to put the 'we will go home if you don't listen to mommy and calm down' threat on our 3.7yr old DS.
We now have a little chat before we head off anywhere about how important it is to share, play in a kind way and listen to mommy and daddy when we ask him to. He knows the drill and knows we can stay and have nice time if he does these things.
Today, he just was over excited on a trip out with a friend and her 2 children. I had a bad feeling from the start but kept my tone upbeat and positive! He just got more unruly and pushed his friend, he had a last warning and then just went into the zone and carried being silly and a bit disruptive. So I did it, we finished lunch (we had only just ordered!) and got the train home by ourselves instead I going onto to the activity that we had gone out for.
He had a meltdown all the way to the train station and I also said we were just going home and there would be no DVDs for the rest of the day and we would just stay home.
I am only posting as I know this was the right thing to do, but its the first time I have actually had to do it.
We always praise him when he has had a good trip out/played with friends and it certainly doesn't go unacknowledged.
I know it won't be the last time either, just need to feel confident In our action in addressing poor behaviour.
He is a long, sociable child and I don't think their is majorly wrong, just a developmental phase we need to help him through!

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ladypop · 11/08/2013 16:27

Long!? Loving! Also, just to say, his friend was in a bit of a silly mood too so it was a bit of both, esp when he pushed her.

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FeegleFion · 11/08/2013 16:47

Don't question yourself.

Our job, as parents, means we must make decisions that can leave our DC upset or angry.

Any decision you make, in regards to your DC will be made with the best of intention, I'm sure.

We don't always make the right decisions when we have the luxury of hindsight but you will make the best decision with the information you have available, and that's all any of us can do.

You may well receive some comments suggesting that the poster would have dealt with their DC very differently, if they'd been in your position, however, that's really of no consequence to you as long as you feel that you dealt with this situation in the way you feel is right, then it is right.

CakesAreNotTheAnswer · 11/08/2013 16:55

bear in mind too that 4 year old boys get a massive testosterone surge which can negatively affect their behaviour so it's a really good time to start setting firm boundaries. good luck

SizzleSazz · 11/08/2013 16:58

My dd1 remembers missing a boat trip and ice cream when she was 4.5 due to defiantly DOI g s

SizzleSazz · 11/08/2013 17:00

My dd1 remembers missing a boat trip and ice cream when she was 4.5 due to defiantly doing something she has been told not to and given 2 warnings.
We still refer back to it now and she knows we stick to consequences.

sapfu · 11/08/2013 17:02

yy you did the right thing

next time you are at the warning stage you can remind him that last time you said 'we'll go home if you...' you did actually go home

needastrongone · 11/08/2013 17:09

Well done. Agree entirely with your actions.

I seemed to 'get' the way to deal with our DC when they were little (nothing astonishing, just consistency, boundaries, being calm, following stuff through etc), the teenage phase has got me flummoxed I must confess!

ladypop · 12/08/2013 07:14

Thanks folks! And good point, sapfu, he has a very good memory indeed, so hopefully he will remember it clearly x

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