Discipline a 1.5 yr old when visiting someone's house

[AlCookie]

I have no clue what to do here. We were at a dinner party yesterday and my 17 month old was all over the place - touching anything n everything and just not responding to the usual discipline words he normally does.

My home is now largely baby safe....some parts are not and my son normally agrees if we telling him not to do something or if i distract him. I guess because he keeps seeing those things/decorations everyday in our house, he is no longer tempted - he probably tunes out things now.

But when visiting a new home....he just got out of control. I also took some of his less usual toys along so he would keep busy but no - he wanted to the flower vases, the candles, the crystal ware!!! I was behind him like a hawk but even then i had to take him away...he wasnt listening to 'no' or some of the other statements i use to keep him out of mischief. After a while he really got irritated because i wouldnt allow him to touch things...n then it was not a pretty scene- whining, screaming.

I felt like i dont know this kid!!!!!

I want to know what do you guys do???

A 17 month old can't really be expected to fall meekly into line when in new surroundings with lovely sparkly enticing novelties on show within reach. Mine would have gone pop-eyed with wonder, at that age they want to explore and touch or taste everything that falls into their line of vision.

If your hosts knew you were bringing him they could have moved everything out of reach or hope you'd keep him from breaking/spilling anything. Either they are used to small infants or they optimistically anticipated he'd nap or play quietly.

You either fix up a trusted babysitter and leave Ds behind, or take it in turns with another adult preferably DP or DH to be 'on duty'. If DS is not asleep chances are you will be up and down like a yoyo.

Completely normal for the age. Not quite sure how you expected him to act at a dinner party.

One adult would need to sit and play with him, with toys you've brought from home. Did the host invite the child as well? Perhaps they thought your son might sleep in another room (we have sometimes done this, but can stressful).

Yep unfortunately you just need to keep watching them! If your friends you are visiting could be pre-warned to put any of the accessible, easily moveable valuables or fragile things up a little bit higher in advance that would be great. Then after that it's just a case of keeping him away from the stuff he isn't allowed. Maybe if they have one room which is more suitable than another you could confine your visit to that space. At this time of year, sitting out in the garden is great if they have one.

I think at this age dinner parties are really "out" unless the hosts have children of their own and one of you is on standby all the time watching them. Fine when they are tiny babies and fine when they are older and able to be included but at this age it's a case of getting a babysitter or restricting your visiting to an hour or two's coffee date in the daytime.

YY or sleeping in another room can work, although they can be unpredictable about sleep times at that age too!

My DS is the same, but I don't expect people to hide their valuables/breakables, it is up to me and DH to watch him like a hawk and we do.
We're invited to lunches and brunches (German friend has yearly Advent brunches, they are awesome!), but dinner parties, no. We are fine with that.
DS also pretends not to doesn't understand 'no' when we ate at home, he is in every nook and cranny. All adult stuff is about 3ft off the ground/out of reach. We might be able to put up a Christmas tree when he is 5 (he is currently 20mo)!

ate at home = are at home

I think what you described is totally normal... both his behaviour and how you dealt with it.

unfortunately it's just plain old hard work when you take kids out to somewhere that isn't baby-proofed.
only other thing i can suggest is maybe to have taken him outside for a little explore or something.
and accept that for the time being you'll never be able to just have a nice chat with friends

I don't go to dinner parties :) or anywhere really... apart from child friendly parks and soft play or meet people for a swift coffee and ply ds with cake for the duration until he starts moaning....!

Sorry no real help. But normal and not much you can do really! Just avoidance!

Welcome to two years if never having an adult conversation and constantly watching and following your toddler.

If you are lucky it won't also be two years of "get down, that's not for climbing" as well.

DD1 was unbelievably bad at fiddling, touching, climbing and generally messing with anything she shouldn't.

She would ignore a floor full of toys and make a bee line for the adult nic nacs on the book case. Anything faintly climbable she climbed.

She wasn't being deliberately naughty. She is a bright curious child and investigating thinks is just totally instinctive.

It was utterly exhausting, because all you could do was follow her about, distract and rerun her to the toys. Where she would stay for 30 sec until you looked away and then she'd be off again. No good trying to play with her or even taking her to houses, playgroups with other children. She still wandered off to explore.

There were only two places for DD1 soft play and and really good age inappropriate playgrounds, where she could head up the older DCs climbing frame.

Agree it is normal. Either don't take him or accept it will be very hard work. Ds is three now and much better, understands "Gentle, gentle" but still needs constant watching in new environments.

Last week I took 16mo DS to visit family who have no children. It was a nightmare, a whole weekend of having to follow him CONSTANTLY, he refused to play with any of his toys, instead he just tried to climb the furniture and would get stuck or try and pull down the curtains. I was knackered afterwards. I think this is just what happens and we have to suck it up! I just keep saying no, and distracting. I think it's all you can do really.

I am so glad to hear this!!

After the dreadful evening I asked my mom how i was as a toddler n she was very prompt in saying 'u never touched anything'...i was so like 'grrrrr'. Also a cousin of mine said 'oh my son never used to touch anything at someone else's house.

I was like...am i the unlucky one?!?? But come to think of it...curiosity seems to a second nature to a toddler n i think its good. I wonder if having a dull/not curious kid would have been better or worse

Anyway...i think i agree with u all...i was actually looking for an explanation to what my mom n cousin said - i thot they had a secret formula

Agree with everyone else. Completely normal and a good thing really (despite the hard work). He is curious & interested & confident. All good

Keeps you fit too

I swear people have selective memories! Of course toddlers touch things, it's in their nature to. Don't listen to deluded people who claim theirs never did such a thing!