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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can you spoil a 5 month old?

10 replies

copperred · 08/08/2013 08:56

I'm having a job to get my little chap to have a nap in the day if it's not sleeping on me. When I put him down he'll stays asleep for 10-15 mins then wakes. He will never self settle. I have to put him down asleep. But he is getting really over tired.
I've been told by family it's because I've spoilt him and not put him down enough in early days?
He is teething bad at the moment.

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LittleBearPad · 08/08/2013 08:57

You haven't spoilt him. He's teething, in pain and he wants his mum. Will he sleep in the buggy or car?

Pozzled · 08/08/2013 09:00

No, you can't spoil babies.

Some babies are just naturally bad sleepers- at that age my DD2 would only sleep in a sling or in my bed. We couldn't even put her down once she was asleep.

melliebobs · 08/08/2013 09:05

At 5 months he's still so little. Babies have no concept of manipulation etc. he's unsettled and sore and wants his mum. You do what you need to to keep them content and have an easy day for yourself and sod anyone else

Forgetfulmog · 08/08/2013 09:10

My 10 mo dd still naps on me - very spoiled baby

TwentyTinyToes · 08/08/2013 09:17

No! I've spoiled both mine rotton and i have an entire collection of rods for my back, they are fine! Just do whatever feels right for you and your family and ignore everyone else. The advice keeps coming, weaning, ongoing sleep angst, what you feed them, what they drink, preschool etc etc. Take no notice. Enjoy cuddling while you can.

VinegarDrinker · 08/08/2013 09:20

I was told that up to 1 their wants are the same as their needs

DimLight · 08/08/2013 09:25

I have 2 DC & they both slept on me loads in the first year. It can be annoying at times but now they are older I don't regret a minute of all that cuddling. They both sleep fine now btw, & i had every rod for my back going. If you are happy just go with it.

noblegiraffe · 08/08/2013 09:29

My baby would self settle in her basket in the early days and was regularly put down. Now at six months she will only sleep on me.

It's nothing you've done or not done, babies just like their mummy being around and are more aware as they get older.

Doctorhappy · 08/08/2013 09:58

We had this problem from about that age - could only put DS down asleep and he would wake again within twenty mins. I was bf-ing him to sleep at the time. We wondered if the problem was that he was always being put down fast asleep so was surprised and upset the first time he slightly woke up to find he was in his cot and not on me. Eventually I tackled it by bf-ing him as usual but in a bright room with background noise so he wouldn't fall asleep then putting him down awake and staying beside him until he fell asleep. First few days were hard, it took him a good wee while and lots of crossness but he got there and I cuddled him when he reached up and otherwise just patted him, sang to him etc. Within a few days he was totally used to it and falling asleep quickly and peacefully which was such a great result for him and for me! Thinking back though we didn't tackle this until he was about 7/8 months though I think. Once we had he started having brilliant naps and still does - more often than not I have to wake him from naps now as he has slept too long!
I certainly don't think you've spoilt your dc though! I don't like that attitude - babies are not manipulative, they have pretty basic needs and do their best to get us to meet them! And sleeping on mummy is lovely for them. However it becomes a problem when it means you have literally no free time and therefore no sanity left to play with them and care for them when they are awake - for me my DS's nap times are my sanctuary - time to wash, dress, eat, clean (and maybe watch a tiny bit of Jeremy Kyle...).
Good luck!

Tuliptastic · 08/08/2013 21:12

I could have written this post 8 months ago when DD was 5mo. She wouldn't settle in Moses basket day or night for the first 6 weeks (exhausting), then she would only settle at night. All daytime naps were in my arms until she was about 9mo. Now she will only sleep in her cot, she literally just changed one day.
It's a bloody nightmare now as she won't nap during the day unless we're at home so she can go in her cot. Also I miss the cuddles and enforced sit down time!
What I'm trying to say is do what feels right for you and baby, enjoy the cuddles and don't worry about making a rod for your own back - your DS isn't going to be sleeping on you when he's 25, he will grow out of it.

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