Bars back on??

[Misty9]

Our 23mo ds suddenly started having major bedtime issues when previously he'd gone down awake and self settled off to sleep, since 5mo.

So we tried taking the cot side off the cotbed. He loves his bed. But he is a nightmare to put down now! Two hours of messing around last night and we can't face potentially weeks of this.

We're thinking of putting the cot side back on (and then trying to deal with whatever was affecting his falling asleep) but is this a really bad idea? I know he has to transition one day, but is it easier the older they are? He hasn't ever tried to climb out.

When we transferred DD (20mo) from the cot to the bed she rather enjoyed the freedom and wouldn't stay put. After the first night we just followed the usual routine by saying good night and leaving the room after bedtime story. She can't leave the room as we close the door (to keep the cat out) and she can't reach the handle, but would be straight out of bed to find books/toys ...

We found that if we didn't fuss but left her to it she'd crash out after a while and we'd go back in later (about an hour I think) and pick her off the floor and transfer her (sleeping) back into bed.

It took just over a week before she was going to sleep in her bed. Sticking with the routine worked for us relatively quickly, but only (I think) because we just left her to it, rather than constantly trying o force her back into bed.

Disclaimer: sample of 1!

We left the cot sides on the cotbed for ages - until nearly 3! I definitely didn't rush and didn't have problems with it.

Thanks for the replies. YBR he can unfortunately reach the handle of his door and got hysterical the one time we held it from outside! He is also a VERY light sleeper and wakes as soon as you go in his room bloody creaky door doesn't help let alone when picked up from the floor!

Well, we decided to leave the side off for tonight and see how he goes. Dh is up there now and it is suspiciously quiet... I've also had a chat with ds along the lines of if its too hard to go to sleep on your own, we can put the cot side back up. His resounding no to that was clear, we'll see if it has any affect.

Anyone else any experience of putting the cot side back on..??

I did rapid return for about three nights when we took the sides off - just sat on the floor outside ds's room with my tablet and every single time his feet touched the floor I unceremoniously plonked him back into bed, the first time with "it's bed time now, lie down" and the other times in silence. I tactically ignored wriggling, standing up or fake crying.

The first night it took about 45 minutes but by the third night I did one return and since then he's gone down like a dream with a smile on his face.

Oh, and when I said goodnight I really emphasised the whole 'big boy' aspect of it. He's also 23 months and we just moved him into a single bed with not one minute of problems.

Thanks for that brian - we tried rapid return but the first night dh returned ds 53 times in about 30mins so he gave up!

When you say you sit outside his room, do you mean with the door open so you can see him get out of bed? I get so frustrated with ds and know that this doesn't help him calm into sleeping :(

DS moved into cot bed at 22 months. Loves his bed, but it did changed his bed time routine. We always read three stories then cuddled and into bed, leaving him to settle fully. But the bed meant that after 3 stories he just got up andwent running to the bookshelf for more! we head a few stressful weeks of long bedtimes and battles, but then we went of hols and he stopped napping in the day. Now we have an early bath, back down stairs for a glass of milk, then bed, 3 stories and lights out. I think its a case of being ready for sleep and the novelty just wore off after a while! I personally wouldn't put the sides back, but perservere
xxx

Oh hell! Just read this, no advice sorry dc are 3 and 1 and still in bars. Do all kids mess around when the bars come off?

I left the door ajar so he couldn't see me but I could hear him getting up - then I sprang up and put him back! He did cry and carry on a bit but it's in his own best interests to sleep well and like I say, now he's in a big bed he will lie awake for ages just chatting to himself or playing with his teddies but never cries or gets up.

I moved my 2years 8mths in to a bed last week and was dreading it as he has never been a great sleeper anyway, he has only got out of bed twice all week, although done more shouting than usual. I would leave them off a bit longer and see if he can get used to it, hopefully the novelty will wear off soon.

Also - I think it's important to not talk or explain much if you do rapid return - you want it to be totally unfun, not like a game, even no eye contact if you need to. They're not babies, they need to know The Rules.

I have to be honest. I'd put the bars back on. Well actually I have a DA he same age and haven't taken them off! DD was 3 when hers came off and never had a single issue as was old enough to understand properly. Why give yourself the extra hassle?

*DS, not DA!

We're on night 2 without the cot bars for 26mo DS1 and following the approach outlined by YBR above. So can't tell you how well it works but would say we have added a stairgate outside his door after the complete failure of his first afternoon nap so he can't escape! He seems to accept this (he understands them elsewhere in the house). He's done a bit of moving around after the end of his stories but i intend to very boringly and quietly put him back in, however he soon got bored and got back on, if not in bed.

Hoping not to have to put the bars back on but we'll see!

A word of warning - one of my dcs did just as yours is, so we put the bars back on, which she repeatedly climbed over (never having done so before). In the end, we left them off and put a stair gate across the doorway so she couldn't get far if she decided to go for a wander in the night.

My dts were 2 1/2 when the bars came off and for the best part of a month it was hard, had about a week of rapid returns at up to 50 times per twin as explained above. It didn't help that they were in the same room and egged each other on! I put a gate on the room to cage them in for their own safety.
They did get the message, this has to happen at some point. They are now 5yo, settle easily at 7 each night and following their rapid return experience never get out of bed as they know they won't get positive attention! I'd say long term it's really worth persevering, i have far less problems than most of their same age friends with bedtime.
Oh - and i did reward charts early days for going to bed nicely...

I did put the bars back on. I don't have time in the evenings for all the messing around that was going on! The final straw was when DS pulled his chest of drawers over. Sides went back on that night. He's now 3.4 and they're still on, I am in no rush to remove them again!

You're lucky, i was hoping to keep the bars on until 3 but dt1 worked out how to climb out and then pulled dt2 by the arms out of her bed!!

That's it. The bars are going back on. I do NOT have the patience to deal with ds climbing out of bed as soon as my back is turned! Safer for everyone if they go back on.