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Behaviour/development

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My 4 Yo has gone off me

2 replies

gabrielsmater · 06/08/2013 19:58

I could really use an insight into why my little boy doesn't want to see me. His dad left me in January and we agreed an approx 70/30 split in my favour. Since the split his dad has taken him away to see family in Northern Ireland twice. both times my son has come back not wanting to be with me, not making eye contact and wanting to be with his Dad. It wore off the first time but this time he has chosen to be with his Dad 4 days straight since coming back. I feel so full of despair and grief. He was everything to me but it seems I'm 2nd best to him and I feel like I've lost my whole family in the space of 6 months. There's no reverse problem when I take him away for holidays - he's always happy to see his dad again. Unlike his Dad I have suffered badly from depression due to the split and I wonder if this is making my home feel less secure to him than his dad's. Our relationship was close and loving before he went away - he's quite happy in himself but just doesn't want me. Please any insights or any ideas would be appreciated. I don't believe his dad is trying to bad mouth me or do anything to sabotage my relationship with my son.

OP posts:
HeatherSprouse · 06/08/2013 21:14

Maybe you should take him on holiday or someplace he will find fun as a treat x

GailTheGoldfish · 06/08/2013 22:14

This must be so hard for you, I'm so sorry. It sounds like he is struggling with the split and not being with his Dad full time. But he does love you, and I don't think it is uncommon for children to take out some of their frustration about parents splitting up on the parent they spend most time with. Would you consider some kind of family therapy to help him express how he is feeling? And do you have any support for your depression? January isn't very long ago and this is still probably very raw for him. I wish you all the best Flowers

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